Earthworms and a Slightly Horny Suit of Armour
by hipotamus
Summary: With his wealth, charm, incredible Quidditch abilities, and of course his devastatingly goodlooks, James Potter claims he can win any girl's heart. Lily is out to prove him wrong. LJ lovehate. sure to put a smile on your face! R&R. rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **When you have earthworms wriggling down your back and a sexually frustrated suit of armor feeling you up, what can you do but agree to go on a date with the boy you hate above all others?

**Disclaimer:** You all know wat belongs to the fantastic JKRowling and what doesnt...

* * *

**Earthworms and a Slightly Horny Suit of Armour**

"Hey, Evans!"

"No."

"I didn't even –"

"No."

"Well at least give me the chance to -"

"No."

James rumpled his hair and crossed his arms. "You're not being kind, Evans."

"I'm sure you'll get over it." Lily picked up her books and stuffed them into her bag.

"Go out with me!" James said, grabbing her quill and holding it out of reach.

"Give it back, Potter," Lily said wearily, reaching for the quill.

"Only if you go out with me."

"You are so utterly predictable. I would rather go out with the giant squid than you! No, I would rather go out with the slime on the bottom of the lake that the squid ate for lunch then regurgitated and fed to the Grindylows, which they in turn threw up, mixed with merpeople excrement, and served on a plate with half decomposed underarm-hair follicles."

James blinked. "So…was that a yes?"

Lily just glared at him, swung her bag over her shoulder and left the library, James following closely behind.

"I still have your quill."

"Leave me alone."

"That's not very polite, Lily."

Lily stopped walking and turned to glare at him. "What do you want, Potter?"

He grinned. "Now I'm glad you asked. See-"

"I'm not going out with you," she said before he could even finish his sentence.

"And did I ask you?"

"You've asked me on average three times a day since the second year. It's not exactly hard to guess what you were about to say."

He beamed at her. "And look at this, you can already finish my sentences. That's true love…"

Lily snorted. "Love? That's good… If you ever learn to love anyone besides yourself, let me know…Moaning Myrtle's been asking for your number."

James froze in his tracks and then laughed. "Ouch. Ok, so don't go out with me. I don't mind. I'll just find another girl."

"Neither reverse psychology nor jealousy will work."

"Well what will?" James asked, his voice more serious. Lily stopped walking and turned to look at him.

"James, you've got to understand this: I don't like you. In fact, I strongly dislike you. You could almost call it hate."

James looked at her shrewdly for a moment then nodded his head and held out her quill.

"Thank you," she said, taking the quill and tucking it into her robes pocket. She was just walking off when he called her name.

"Lily?" She stopped walking again and he continued. "I'm sorry you hate me. If it helps at all, I don't hate you. In fact I'm completely, desperately, hopelessly in love with you."

Lily rolled her eyes and kept walking as, predictably, James ruined the serious moment by breaking out into a loud, high-pitched love song.

---

Lily was not happy. In fact that was the understatement of a century. Lily was livid. If one more thing went wrong today, she would be forced to hex someone. Anyone, she was past the point of caring by this point. Professor McGonagall had just given her detention. Yes, Lily Evans, perfect school record, had just received detention, and it was completely James and his stupid friends' fault.

The lesson was to transfigure shoelaces into earthworms, which sounded easy but turned out to be a lot harder than expected. Lily had managed to transfigure ten laces when she realised that as she had been transfiguring them, Sirius was picking them up and dropping them down the back of her school robes, which explained her running around the classroom shrieking, "Get them off of me! Get them off!"

Lily was pissed off. Pissed off at Sirius and his stupid friends who had all been killing themselves laughing as she ripped her robes off, hopping from foot to foot, screeching swear words and death threats loudly. And _Lily_ had got detention. It was the most unfair thing that had ever happened to her.

So when her bag ripped and books, parchment and quills flew everywhere she yelled and kicked the nearest thing: a suit of armour, which toppled over on top of her, trapping her underneath. Bursting into tears, Lily tried to move the blasted thing with no avail, so she did what anyone did in that situation: cried.

"Hey, Evans. How are you?" James strolled past, raising his hand, and kept walking.

"Potter!" Lily shrieked, realising she was unable to lower her voice volume even the tiniest bit. Her vocal chords seemed to be stuck on hysterical, high-pitched screech mode.

"Yes Lily, dear?" He asked, turning and watching her flail her arms around. "Are you ok? You sound…agitated."

"Agitated? I'll give you fucking agitated! Get this bloody thing off of me!"

James raised his eyebrows and smirked. "I'm sorry, did I just hear you swear?"

Lily let out a string of bad words that caused James to take a quick step back and trip over a Potions book.

"What kind of people leave their books lying all around the corridor?"

"Just…get it…of me!" Lily choked out between sobs, as she let her exhausted arms flop down on the cold stone floor; the stupid thing just wouldn't budge. James scooted across the floor until he was sitting right by her head.

"Actually, now that I have you in this position, I think we should discuss a few things."

Lily batted away his hand, which was attempting to wipe frustrated tears off of her face.

"First of all, you have to go on a date with me."

"…"

"Glaring at me won't do any good, my love. Just agree, and I'll have this thing off of you in a jiffy."

The helmet was digging uncomfortably into her sternum and his proposition wasn't sounding half bad by this point. "That's all? I just have to agree to a date?"

"Well, that's not quite all…"

Lily groaned, then squealed as the suit of armour giggled and brushed her thigh with his metal fingers.

"Oh my god! Get it off, get it off!"

"So you agree?"

Lily's attention was diverted slightly from the horny suit of armour lying on top of her. "To what?"

"My conditions."

The helmet nuzzled into her chest and she banged it hard with her fist. James just smirked and watched her struggle. "What are your conditions?"

"Firstly -"

"I go on a date with you! Yes I know, ok, what else?"

"You spend that whole day with an open mind. No 'I-hate-Potter' thoughts."

"I'm not sure if that's possible," Lily remarked, as she wrestled with the dirty armour.

"And, you come to the South of France for a week, with me and my family next year."

Lily shrieked and whacked the armour around the head as he began to stroke her waist.

James grinned. "So that's a yes?"

"YES, GET IT OFF ME JAMES!"

James stood up and pulled the suit of armour off her, and let it crash noisily onto the stone floor. He then offered her his hand and pulled her to her feet.

"I would offer to punch him in the face for feeling you up, Evans," said James smirking. "But it'd hurt and I need this hand to play Quidditch."

"I'm sorry, is this where I'm supposed to swoon? James Potter, the legendary Quidditch player, just saved me from a sexually frustrated suit of armour. Am I supposed to fall into your arms and kiss you passionately?" asked Lily, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

James smiled, held out his arms and puckered his lips. Lily rolled her eyes, picked up her bag, books, and wand, and stalked off.

"Next weekend then Lily! And I'll write to my parents: tell them you're coming with us over the summer."

* * *

**Please Review! im hoping for ten reviews on this story...unlikely but still. anyway im considering continuing...not sure though. anyway thanks for reading and please, make me happy: review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Ok, so first of all, sorry about the long wait, my computer crashed again so it's taken awhile. Alright, now i am going to probably change the title on this story because i decided to write an actual serious story with plot and everything (gasp!). The writing style does change a bit, but for the better i think. anyway hope you enjoy and please review!

* * *

Dread. That was the word. It adequately described the heavy, feel like crawling under the covers and go back to sleep, feeling Lily was currently experiencing. But of course, returning to her wonderfully warm bed was not an option on this fine winter's day. No. Today was a Hogsmeade weekend…and Lily had been threatened into her first ever date with James Potter: the solidified form of pure arrogance.**

Sighing miserably, Lily tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear, sprayed her usual scent and left the dormitory, attempting a calm and collected look. Needless to say, she was failing miserably.

"Good morning, my dream, my pearl, my sunshine."

Lily glared at James, who seemed extremely upbeat, his usual team of supporters standing behind him.

"Are _they _coming too?" Lily asked, indicating Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Good lord, no." James said, turning to his friends. "I'm afraid if they escorted us, there would be much less touching."

"There will be _no_ touching," Lily said sternly, feeling heat rise into her face as Sirius sniggered. Remus smiled sympathetically and held out his hand.

"Good luck," he said sombrely, shaking her hand. "Try not to kill him: I'd hate to see you get in trouble for something so pointless."

"Thanks, Moony," James said dryly and held his arm out to Lily. She ignored it. "So where are we off to?" he asked brightly, walking quickly beside her as they left the common room.

He was like a deranged puppy dog, Lily thought. If he had a tail, it would definitely be wagging.

"You're not very happy, are you Lily-kins?" James asked brightly as they stepped outside, and crunched through the fresh snow towards the village.

"What gave it away?" Lily asked sarcastically.

James stopped walking and let out a deep sigh. Stopping too, Lily turned and looked at him.

"I'm cold, James. Can't we keep going?"

James shook his scruffy black head and smiled sadly at her. "Go back," he said gently. Lily just gave him a very puzzled look.

"Why would I go back?"

"I didn't realise how much you really didn't want to be with me. It's okay. I don't mind. I'd actually rather not go out with you then make you miserable."

"James…"

"It's okay."

Lily didn't say anything for a moment just gazed at the tall bespectacled boy in front of her. She'd never seen him look so pathetic before. Feeling awful, she shook her head. When had she become so mean? She'd agreed to go on a date with him hadn't she? Well, forced into it more like, but she _had_ agreed. The least she could do was pretend to have fun.

James blushed and scowled at his feet when Lily didn't say anything and turned to head back up to the castle.

"James, wait!" Lily called, rushing over to him and taking his arm. "I want to go to Hogsmeade with you."

"No you don't," James said incredulously. "You hate me."

Lily rolled her eyes slightly and scuffed her foot in the snow. "I don't hate you, Potter. I just…" she paused, not really knowing what to say.

James gazed at her for a moment longer, his uncharacteristic sombre expression suddenly evaporating as he grabbed her arm in his. "Well look at that, I got Lily Evans to ask _me_ out."

"I did not ask you out!" Lily said, pulling her cloak closer around her as they set off towards Hogsmeade again.

"Yes. You said, 'I want to go to Hogsmeade with you.'"

Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation and gripped her cloak in white knuckled fingers. He was a good actor that was for sure. He'd tricked her into going on this date with him and now he'd tricked her into _wanting_ to go with him. Although Lily would never admit it, but she actually liked their relationship. He was the most popular boy in school, not including Sirius, and his un-wavering attention often made her laugh…when she wasn't trying to strangle him that was.

Potter had it all: wealth, brains, good-looks, charm, and of course a constant escort of about fifty girls. And his (so called by himself) "undying devotion" towards Lily hadn't stopped him hooking up with about half of these groupies. He was popular, loved by most, and a player, but Lily still turned him down and she enjoyed doing so. Their hate-love relationship (with her being the hate and him being the love) had become quite comfortable over the years and sometimes she found herself forgetting she hated him. Often she'd find herself sitting in the common room late at night having a discussion which had started out as a heated dating rejection but somewhere along the way had turned civilized and interesting.

James' sudden switch of tactics had always left her unbalanced: going from annoying stalker to caring friend in a matter of minutes, but now it seemed different. Now when she turned him down he acted like he was really upset. Was she just playing into his hands by feeling bad for him and trying to make up? Was he that good of an actor? Once Sirius had told her that James was only in it for the chase. Once that was over he would become bored: there was no future. Lily could understand Sirius' bitterness, he didn't like her and that was well known. Sirius was James' best friend and the more time James spent trying to persuade Lily to go out with him, the less time he spent with Sirius. True, if Lily did cave in and actually admit she had any feelings (which she didn't! she told her self adamantly every day) for James, the fun and thrill would be gone.

Lily shook her head. What was wrong with her? Was she turning into just another useless hang-on? Waiting hopefully until James tossed her a bone and satisfied her desire for attention? No, she would not give in to James' games. For this whole bizarre relationship of theirs was a twisted game: a competition. And the loser was the first to cave. And as soon as one caved it would be over.

"You look deep in thought, my flower," James said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Although she appreciated the extra warmth, Lily held true to her new resolution of not caving. _Not_ that she had feelings for him of course.

"Mm, must be unusual for you," Lily said, shrugging his arm from her shoulder. "A girl that you're on a date with actually _thinking_. Must be quite bizarre."

"Ouch," James said, grinning and ruffling his hair. "So you're admitting we're on a date then?"

"Our first and last," Lily said, relishing in the fact that she could once again insult him without worrying about damaging his fragile feelings.

James didn't say anything for a while as he walked along and rubbed his nose, apparently deep in thought. Not until they reached the Three Broomsticks did he say, "Samantha O'Kinion."

Laughing out loud, Lily pushed the door open and welcomed the warm air gladly. Her nose was going numb. "It took you seven and a half minutes to think of a girl with brains. That doesn't say much about your girlfriends, Potter."

James laughed and sat down at a free table by the warm fire place. Well, actually it hadn't been free a moment ago, but all James had to do was nod at the two boys sitting there and they scampered hurriedly off. "What about _your_ last boyfriend?" James said, a mischievous grin on his face, once they'd removed their cloaks, scarves and gloves. "I thought you were going to castrate that one with your teeth."

Blushing Lily said, "You know full well Daniel Moorseon felt me up at the Christmas party."

"Two black eyes…you're lucky he didn't snivel to a teacher."

"Yea, well he knew he'd get worse punishment if I told the full story. Besides you can hardly talk! You almost knocked out his front teeth when he was mouthing off at me the next day."

"Face it, Lilykins: you're a man-hater."

"I'm a what?"

"A man-hater," James said simply, spreading his hands, and smiling warmly at the pretty young barmaid who supplied them with complementary butterbeers.

"Don't you ever get sick of people fawning over you? And what do you mean I'm a man-hater?"

James shrugged. "I mean you like blokes well enough, you just prefer them at a distance."

Lily gave him a shrewd look and took a swig from her bottle. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand in a most unladylike manner she said, "And I suppose you think you can cure me."

"Of course," James said without batting an eye. "If I really try I can get any girl to fall in love with me."

"You're a bastard," Lily told him coldly but James didn't flinch, just gave her a small sweet smile that made his hazel eyes glitter. "You break so many girls' hearts and you don't even give a damn. And anyway, you can't make _any _girl love you. You've been trying to make me fall for you for four years and it hasn't worked yet."

"Ah, there you are wrong my flower," James said, his smile now spreading to a grin, revealing a cute dimple which formed surreptitiously under the right corner of his mouth.

Lily snorted. "I most certainly do _not _love you, Potter. Even you with your horrifying egotistical arrogance can see that!"

"Redundancy is not becoming, Lily. 'Egotistical arrogance'? Is that really the best you could come up with? And you aren't wrong about loving me. It's pretty obvious you don't. But you are wrong in the sense that you believe that I have been trying to make you love me."

Lily gaped at him, her mouth open and bottle halfway to her lips. "You have told me that you loved me practically every day since I was twelve and starting to develop breasts."

"Which have developed quite magnificently," James put in helpfully, his eyes twinkling.

"Pervert," Lily said, her eyes as frosty as his were playful.

"Lily, my pearl, I'm just saying that if I really truly wanted you to love me, you would by now."

"You are so full of it!"

"Alright then, we have a bet: that you will love me by the end of the year."

"And when I win this bet? What do I get?" Lily asked, leaning forwards in her chair.

"Besides bragging rights?" James looked thoughtful and scratched his nose. The he met her gaze squarely. "If you win, and you turn out not to love me by the end of this, then I'll leave you alone. No more tormenting."

Lily seemed to consider him then nodded.

"And if I win…" he tapered off and seemed to consider her. When he said nothing she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well? Not that it's going to happen…"

"Nothing," James said simply, leaning backwards in his chair and draining his bottle in three large mouthfuls.

"Nothing?"

James shook his head. "Well you'll be in love with me, what more could I ask for?"

Lily watched him for a moment then nodded her head and held out her hand. "Alright then you're on. But there have to be a few ground rules: no public humiliation and no seeing any other girls on the side."

James grinned and shook her hand. "Wait, what do you mean by public humiliation, because what you see as humiliation, I see as commonplace daily events."

* * *

**AN: ok well please tell me what you think. The story's going to follow the bet but im going to go into a lot of character background and bring in some new characters and stuff. hopefully it will be quite interesting! cya xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**"You did what?" demanded Eleanor Harvey, her sky blue eyes round with innocent shock. 

"Shh," Lily muttered, glancing at Madam Pince, the ancient librarian prowling between the rows of books. It was a Monday afternoon and the sixth-year Gryffindors had a free-period which most were taking advantage of by working in the library: all except Potter, Black and Lupin who managed to receive Outstandings in every class despite their lack of studious behaviour.

Lily was currently sitting at a table under the window with her two best friends: the sweet yet naïve Eleanor, and Sarah Taylor, a stunning yet haughty girl who could be a real bitch when rubbed the wrong way.

"Don't tell us to 'shh'," said Sarah, swishing her long black hair over her shoulder and glaring at her friend. "Do you realise how demeaning and unflattering that bet is?"

"Potter was being an arrogant arse as usual, and this time I didn't want him to get away with it. I'm not going to fall for him Sarah, don't worry. I'll just put him through hell until July then break it to him nicely that I'm really not interested."

Eleanor groaned and rolled her eyes. "You know James is the most gorgeous boy in the school, why don't you just go out with him?"

Lily raised an eyebrow at her friend and shook her head despairingly. Ever since the three girls had met in first year they had been unlikely friends: the short, slightly rounded Eleanor with her big blue eyes, pale skin and silky blonde hair, so innocent to the world and all of its iniquity, and the tall, startling thin Sarah with her tanned skin, high cheekbones and strong nose, with a frosty air that made her feared and worshipped, along with Lily, who seemed a combination of the two and often played peacekeeper to their bickering which ended more often than not in Eleanor's tears.

Glaring at Lily with her dark eyes, Sarah finally sighed and then a grin played across her face. "Well, don't you want to know what I was doing while you two were out on dates this weekend?"

"Pinned beneath another one of the Ravenclaw Quidditch players?" asked Lily cattily, obviously not responding well to her friends' less than supporting air about the bet.

"No," said Sarah, shooting Lily a glare which she missed as she was gazing down at her Potions essay. "I got a piercing."

"Another one!" Lily and Eleanor cried in unison turning their attention immediately to her.

"Yep, two actually, and you'll never guess where," Sarah said, a grin playing on her thin lips.

"I really don't want to know," Lily said. "Can't we leave you alone for one weekend without you getting some body part tattooed or pierced?"

Sarah just bit her lip, still grinning and looked quickly around the library before undoing the buttons of her two-sizes-too-small blouse stretched tightly across her chest.

"Oh lovely," Lily breathed sarcastically once Sarah had showed them the two silver rings now pierced through her nipples. "You should attach a chain between them or something. Merlin, Sarah. Why did you have to go and do that?"

"Oh, stop mothering me Lily," Sarah said, pushing her chair back and putting her books haughtily into her bag. "I'll see you two skanks in Transfiguration." She blew them both a kiss and stalked off. You could almost feel the temperature rise a few degrees as she left.

--

"Oo, look who's coming," breathed Sarah once Lily and Eleanor had joined her in Transfiguration. Lily looked up and spotted the three terribly popular Gryffindor sixth years and their official groupie, Peter Pettigrew.

"Look," squealed Eleanor. "They're coming our way."

It was true, James had spotted their table and strode casually over, greeting them with a mock bow. Lily looked back down at her textbook and said, "Well if it isn't the famous four."

"I believe you are getting your literature mixed up my dear. It is the Famous _Five_ and the _Fantastic_ Four. Although I must say, we are a bit of both."

Lily gasped at his arrogance and looked up at him incredulously.

"You seem to know a lot about muggle children's books, Potter. Your highest form of reading?" Sarah asked scathingly.

"Well, he has to read up on muggles as he's planning on dating one," said Sirius, speaking for the first time in a deep, bored voice. Feeling her face go hot, Lily turned back down towards her textbook but not before she glimpsed James bristling and shooting his best friend an extremely nasty look.

"See you later, Evens," James said and they strode off, looking for a place to sit.

"Sorry about him," someone said quietly, and Lily looked up. Remus was still standing by her and she smiled warmly at him. "Sirius. He's just jealous. He'll get over it."

"What, Sirius wants James all for himself does he? Got a little crush?" Sarah said malevolently. Obviously hearing, Sirius' head snapped up and his lip curled.

"Sarah, shut up! Thank you Remus, you're a good friend," said Lily.

Remus nodded, not sure what she meant. Was he a good friend of hers or of James'?

"I hate that guy," muttered Sarah once Remus had walked away and sat down with his friends. "He's such an arse."

"Remus?" inquired Eleanor, her blue eyes very round. "But he's so sweet!"

"No," said Sarah tossing her hair back and licking her red lips. "Sirius…but Remus does bug me too. He's _too_ nice. A bit gay if you ask me."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay, Sarah. You say it like an insult or something," said Lily softly, turning a page in her textbook and not glancing up. "And besides, if you hate Sirius so much, why did you sleep with him?"

Sarah shrugged and examined her nails. "He was willing…and able. Best shag I've had in this place; he's the only bloke with experience."

"You really shouldn't sleep around so much," Eleanor began but at that moment the bell rang and Professor McGonagall began teaching the lesson.

---

"Ah, my Lily-flower, our propinquity makes me swoon."

"Go away, James," said Lily who had been busy buttering a roll in the great hall, but looked up as James sauntered over. She rolled her eyes and tried not to smile at his antics – it would only egg him on.

"I get the feeling you are aggravated by me, Evens. Why, you look at me as if I have impetigo!" James said in mock distress, clapping a hand to his heart and sitting gracefully down in front of her.

The corner of Lily's mouth twitched and James noticed, which, as Lily knew it would, only encouraged him further.

"Indeed, you look perturbed by my gregarious nature, Lily, and that just won't do."

"What's going on?" Eleanor whispered to Sarah, her eyes flashing between the two.

Sarah shrugged, seemingly uninterested. "It's how smart people argue…they use lot's of big words."

Putting down her roll, Lily brushed her hands rid of crumbs and looked at James condescendingly. "Does this usually work, Potter?" When James only proceeded to give her a politely quizzical look, she continued. "You win a girl's heart by using expansive vocabulary?"

"Why is it not working?" James said, grinning roguishly so his eyes lit up.

"Big words don't turn a girl on James," said Sarah, grinning playfully at him. "However, big –"

"Sarah!" cut in Lily before she could say the next word. "For goodness sake!"

"I'm just saying," Sarah said, focusing her attention back on her sandwich, but smiling all the same.

"Christmas party on Saturday," said Remus, breaking the awkward silence. "Are you girls going?"

"No," sighed Eleanor. "My parents are making me come home for Christmas. Sarah and Lily are staying though."

Lily shot Eleanor an angry look for giving away that information. She was looking forward to a few weeks free of Potter and his cronies, but James would stay now that he knew Lily was. Sure enough, "You're staying Lily? Well, that settles it. I can't bear to be apart from my girlfriend for more than a few hours. I better write to Mum and tell her I'm not coming home."

"I'm not your girlfriend, Potter," Lily said but her heart wasn't in the argument. Now she wished she could go home for Christmas, but it would be even worse there. Her own sister, Petunia, hadn't spoken a word to her for six years. She had even claimed not to be Lily's sister anymore. For years, Lily couldn't understand it; she thought maybe Petunia was afraid of magic, but no it wasn't that either. The truth was, she was jealous as hell. The sisters were in fact twins, as different in appearance as you could get, but they were close. Extremely close. When Lily's letter arrived, Petunia waited expectantly for her own, knowing that it would come as everything Lily did, so did Petunia, and vice versa. However, she waited in vain, and come September Lily went off to Hogwarts on her own.

"Evens?"

Lily looked up, realising she had blocked out her classmate's voices and couldn't remember what they were talking about. "Sorry, what?"

"Never mind," James said, looking at her strangely, like he was trying to figure her out. Blushing, Lily realised he must have made a jibe at her, something she never ignored.

---

"I didn't write to my mother," James said later that evening, plopping himself down in an armchair by the sofa where Lily was curled up, her thoughts straying to her unwelcoming home.

"Oh, good," Lily muttered, still gazing at the fire. "So you're leaving for Christmas, then?"

"Nah, Mum wrote a few weeks ago and told me I couldn't come as they're having the house renovated. They're going down to our villa in the South of France for Christmas."

Lily didn't say anything but she thought even harder. That was one of the things she didn't like about Potter. He would constantly slip his wealth or Seeker abilities into conversation, almost without noticing he was doing it. His arrogance was unbelievable.

"You know, some people say you're a lesbian," James said, interrupting her train of thought. Spluttering, Lily sat up.

"Excuse me?"

"Well they do…"

"I am _not_ gay!"

"Yea well, _I_ know that," James said, smirking at his ability to get her talking.

"I went out with Daniel Mooreson last year," Lily said pointedly, as if to prove she was straight.

"You gave him two black eyes."

"Oh!" Lily protested. "He tried to _maul_ me, if you haven't forgotten. And anyway, you're just as bad! You broke his cheek the next day."

James winced. "I got a month's worth of detentions for that. Besides, it's different. It's okay for blokes to fight but a girl fighting is just unattractive. Unless, you know, it's two girls…and they're naked."

"You're unbelievable, Potter. I don't know why I even bother talking to you."

"Oh don't deny it," James said, grinning and ruffling his hair. "You can't resist me."

"Keep dreaming."

"Most certainly will!"

* * *

Right well I'm going on holiday. Please review and I'll post when i get back. bye! (review review review) 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone. got my computer working, yay. Ok, well umm thankyou everyone for reviewing and reading. I really appreaciate all my reviews! Someone mentioned that they enjoyed the last chapter but it seemed a bit pointless. Yea lol, all my chapters seem a bit pointless but usually they do actually have little bits that will come up later. Umm ok, this chapter should be rated a bit higher coz of language and ummm..._adult_ themes. Anyway please enjoy!

* * *

"Yo, Sirius," James called clapping his friend on the back as he caught up to him in the freezing cold hallway, filled with students rushing to their next class.**

"Hey James," Sirius mumbled, moodily ignoring three attractive Hufflepuff girls ogling the two boys. "How are things going with the muggle?"

James froze in his tracks, his arm slipping from his friend's shoulders. "Don't call her that Padfoot," he said quietly, his eyes serious.

"Why not?" mumbled Sirius, stopping as well and waiting for his friend to continue walking. "It's just a bet."

"Like hell it's just a bet, you know how I feel about her!" The two boys glared at each other as the students in the hallway began to thin out – they were late for Potions. James shook his head in disgust and turned away but not before saying, "You're more like your family than you realise, Sirius."

"That spot's taken," Lily said as James dropped his bag, books and cauldron on the table beside her.

"Who for?" James asked, smiling winningly at her.

"Sarah."

James sighed and shook his head. "Do you even remember the last time Sarah came to Potions class?" Lily grinned – he had a point there. It seemed Sarah had unofficially given up Potions for the year.

Looking up at James, Lily saw something wasn't quite right with him, but she stopped herself before asking him if he was ok. That would mean she cared, and she couldn't have him thinking she cared.

---

Lily found she couldn't sleep well that night and after hours of laying in the quiet girls dormitory, she gave up and swung her feet out of bed, grabbing her dressing gown, and heading downstairs.

The common room was empty except one seat where a boy was sitting. Lily recognized the boy's dozing profile and smiled. Out of the Gryffindor boys, Remus was by far her favourite.

"Hi," Lily said quietly, and Remus opened an eye blearily.

"Oh, hi Lily. Can't sleep?"

Lily shook her head and sat down on a comfy couch near the dying fire. Remus Lupin was a thin boy with light brown hair and had the look of one who was often sick; indeed his skin was pale and dark circles surrounded his light brown eyes. With a sigh, he looked out of the window and frowned.

"So why are you down here?" Lily asked, curling her legs underneath her and resting her head on her palm.

"Sirius and James had a fight. It's best not to be around them when they row."

Lily laughed; she could imagine that.

"Can I tell you something?" Remus said quietly, moving his eyes from her face to the flickering embers dying in the fireplace.

"Of course," Lily said gently but her brow creased with unspoken worry.

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Those two…James and Sirius I mean, they're like brothers. Sometimes…I don't know…I feel…"

"Jealous?" Lily supplied.

Remus grinned and nodded his head so his brown hair flopped over his eyes. "I was going for 'left out' but I suppose 'jealous' works too." He sighed and got up, poking the fire and piling more wood on it. "I know it's stupid, but I just wish sometimes I had someone who I could talk to. Someone I could be close to…be a brother too."

"You don't have any brothers or sisters then?"

Remus shook his head and sat back down. "It was never safe," he said then froze. He sat up slightly straighter and his eyes flicked to Lily's face.

"It's ok," she murmured, sensing his uneasiness. "You can tell me."

Lily's green eyes met his own brown ones and they watched each other intently for awhile before he sighed and looked away, rubbing his face with a hand. "You'll judge me, everyone does."

Lily frowned and slipped out of her seat so she was kneeling in front of him and took his hand in hers. "Does that really sound like me?"

He considered her for a moment then grinned and shook his head. "Be prepared to scream."

Lily chuckled mirthlessly. "It can't be that bad."

Remus drew a deep breath and leaned forward in his chair so his face was closer to hers. Looking into her eyes, he realised that he could trust her not to be afraid, not to judge him. "When I was four years old I was bitten by a werewolf."

The crackling of the fire was the only sound in the common room. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't running for the stairs, she was still sitting there, holding his hand, her expression never changing.

"That would explain a lot," she finally said, her voice low. "You look unwell often. About once a month now I think of it."

Remus nodded, leaning back in his chair and squeezing her hand. It felt good to tell someone, someone other than the marauders.

"That's why they call you Moony," Lily said softly, clearly thinking out loud.

Remus laughed. "I'm surprised you hadn't put it together sooner."

"Its wasn't my business," said Lily with a shrug. "If you wanted me to know, you'd tell me."

"I wish I'd told you sooner. It feels good."

Lily laughed and got up from her position on the floor and sat instead on the arm of Remus' chair. Tentatively, she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him to her. She could almost feel the tension in his body and let him rest his head against her stomach, stroking his hair. When she felt the sob go through his body, she realised he was crying, and noticed the tears seeping through her thin nightie.

"Shh," she murmured, while running her fingers soothingly through his hair. They sat together for a long time; Lily didn't want to move. She didn't know why he was crying, but it didn't matter anyway, she just had to be there for him. Just hold him.

---

"Well he bored me," Sarah explained over breakfast the next morning.

"This is getting ridiculous," sighed Eleanor spreading butter onto her toast. "By this rate, you'll have gone through every boy in Hogwarts by the end of the year."

"Except me," said a voice that made Lily want to bang her head repeatedly against the table.

"Oh, but you know how much I want you," Sarah said, blowing a kiss at James who sat down with his usual group. Winking at Sarah, James picked up a piece of toast Lily had just covered in jam and ate it in two bites. "Who bored you?" James asked, his words barely distinguishable due to the mouthful of toast.

"Christopher Martin," Eleanor supplied, earning a deserved elbow in the ribs from Sarah.

"Well of course he bored you," drawled Sirius, pouring himself a cup of black coffee and blowing on it. How he managed to do something so simple and pull it off so spectacularly Lily would never know. He managed to look completely sexy yet bored and uncaring at the same time. "He's never really been into the female dominatrix thing, and everyone knows that's what you like."

"You especially, Padfoot," James joked, spreading jam on a piece of toast and handing it to Lily with a sugary smile. She ignored him.

Sirius shrugged one shoulder carelessly and took a mouthful of coffee. "Actually _I_ prefer to dominate in the bedroom," Sirius said then grinned causing the whole female population to sigh dreamily. "Doggy style's my favourite."

James laughed and they high-fived, but Lily had had enough. "I'm leaving," she muttered disgustingly, grabbing her bag, but James pulled her back down.

"You haven't eaten yet, my sweet."

Seeing that Sarah and Eleanor weren't about to leave with her (they were enjoying themselves in the present company), Lily begrudgingly sat back down and took the piece of toast James was holding out to her with a murmur of thanks.

"So why did you break up with Chris?" Eleanor asked casually, spearing a sausage on the end of her fork.

"I told you, he bored me. And he couldn't find my clitoris if I slapped him in the face with it."

Sirius and James laughed, but Lily covered her face with a hand, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. She felt Remus stiffen beside her as well – he was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation too.

"You shouldn't talk like that, Sarz. It's not proper," Eleanor said running a hand through her thick blonde hair.

"And what about you?" Sirius asked, leaning forward and smiling nicely at her. He was very good-looking, there was no doubting that, but his charm was so fake. A less intelligent girl may fall for it, but Lily certainly didn't.

"What about me?" Eleanor asked. "I'm waiting for marriage."

"Ugh," Sirius grunted, leaning back and pulling a face as if she had just told a disgusting story. "And you, Lily…waiting 'til you're married too?"

"Padfoot," James said, in a warning voice, but Sirius just grinned and flicked a bit of egg at him.

"It's ok, Potter," Lily said, meeting Sirius' eyes with mutual dislike. "No I'm not waiting until I'm married."

"Looks like you were wrong James. It seems she _will_ put out."

"Shut up, Sirius!" It wasn't James who spoke this time, but Remus. He put his hand on her arm as Lily stood, her face burning and her eyes stinging. So James talked about her behind her back did he? Was this what this whole bet was all about? Had he made a bet with his friends that he could sleep with her by the end of the year, and she'd fallen for it?

Lily stormed off, grabbing her bag, her eyes burning with shame and embarrassment.

"Oh well done, Sirius," she heard James say but she ignored him.

Not until she was out in the Entrance Hall did she slow down and look around for her friends. Neither Eleanor nor Sarah had yet to follow her but Remus was hurrying towards her, his bag slung over his shoulder as well.

"Sorry about them," he said once he'd caught up. "They're complete pricks, both of them. Sirius made Peter cry this morning, that's why he wasn't at breakfast."

"Remus, can I ask you something?" Lily asked as they strode outside into the freezing early morning air. "This bet he made with me…"

"The one to make you fall in love with him?"

"Why is there another one?" Lily interjected quickly, her eyes more fervent than she realised.

Remus smiled kindly and shook his head. "No. Don't worry. There's no other bet." He smiled and sank his hands into the pockets of his cloak. "I know what you're thinking though. I wouldn't put it past Sirius to make bets about sleeping with girls but James never would. Especially not with you."

Rubbing her hands together, Lily watched her breath steam out in front of her like smoke as they headed for the greenhouses. She just hoped it would be a fraction warmer in there.

"Are you going home for the holidays tomorrow?" Lily asked as they reached the greenhouses and were forced to wait outside until the professor arrived.

Remus shook his head sadly. "It's best if I don't. Hogwarts is more able to put up with my problem then Mum and Dad. What about you? Are you going home?"

"No," Lily said, a half laugh in her voice as she imagined her holiday if she went home: her dad, drinking himself into oblivion, her mum crying as she tried to pull the family together for a lovely Christmas dinner, and of course her sister, blatantly refusing to acknowledge Lily's existence. Remus seemed to read some of this pain in her eyes but he didn't mention it so she didn't elaborate. A few minutes in the snow had them both stomping their feet and rubbing their hands together to keep warm.

"Are you a virgin?" Lily asked suddenly, her curiosity getting the better of her. She blushed but Remus laughed loudly: a full throaty laugh that even made Lily grin.

"Yes, I am," he said. "I'm waiting to find the right person."

Lily gazed at him for a moment, noticing his word choice, but didn't say anything. It wasn't any of her business. "Sorry," she muttered. "I just thought…well being friends with James and Sirius. They treat virgins as if we have some sort of psychological problem."

Remus laughed again and shook his head. "Promise you won't tell anyone this?" Lily nodded. "Sirius is the only one who's had sex."

"James?" Lily asked incredulously, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"Yep," Remus said, grinning at the look on her face. "Don't tell anyone though, he thinks it will ruin his reputation."

"He irritates me," Lily muttered, looking around. This was getting ridiculous, where was everyone?

"That's obvious," Remus said dryly. "But seriously, James is a good guy. He's the best friend a bloke could ask for. Sirius too, even though you may not believe it. They figured out what I am by themselves. Smart guys…they stood by me, and I owe them a lot."

"You really love them, don't you?" Lily asked, checking her watch. No wonder, they were still five minutes early.

"Yeah I do," Remus said quietly. "They're my best friends, I'd do anything for them, and they'd do anything for me. They've kept my biggest secrets and don't judge me for who I am. I couldn't ask for more."

Again, Lily gazed at him. Was he talking about more than being a werewolf? It wasn't her business anyway, but the way he spoke…

"I'm freezing," Lily commented and Remus nodded in agreement. "Come here, if we don't want to freeze to death we're going to have to resort to body heat." Remus laughed but wrapped his arms around her anyway.

* * *

**Ok well thanks for reading and please review! oh and you'll find out more about Remus later. cya xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Rated T for language and brief nudity. Ok so uhhh, yea.Anyway this chapter has a lot of info on Sirius and his family. Also another one of James' practical jokes and Remus and Lily get even closer. Now as you may have noticed I have uploaded two, yes _two_, chapters. I have done this because I'm going to be gone for about a month (insert gasp and cries of 'no please no' here). However **I have uploaded two chapters on one condition**, and listen closely. You better all **review both**, yes_ both_, of them. Be warned, if you do not, **I will hunt you down and smack you over the head with a dead fish**. Next chapter's pretty funny and may or may not involve a kiss. oooo. Alright well I'm off to relax and enjoy a good break. Hope your summers (or winters to my fellow aussies) are amazing. Be good and enjoy:

* * *

"Sirius?" 

Sirius turned around, his eyebrows raised, and a quill in his mouth. He frowned however when he saw the speaker. "Fuck off."

The boy didn't leave though and instead took a smaller step closer to Sirius' table in the library where he was sitting alone. "Come on, Sirius, talk to me."

"Why should I? You're lower than scum."

"I'm your brother!" the boy said. Their resemblance was uncanny, both with very attractive faces, dark brooding eyes and hair that fell below their eyebrows. Standing in a bookcase a few rows away, Lily bent and peered between the shelves at the brothers.

"Dad wants to know why you're not coming home for Christmas."

"The same reason I haven't gone home for the last five years. I hate the whole lot of you!"

"We're your family!"

Sirius stood, knocking his chair over and took a step towards his brother. "She was six, Regulus. You remember that?"

Regulus' lips whitened and he took a hasty step backwards. "It was an accident."

"Like hell it was!"

Regulus didn't say anything for a while then he looked down at his feet. "If you don't remember, I was the kid standing next to you, fighting as hard as you were to save her."

"And if I hadn't been there, would you have stood up against our father?" Sirius seemed to wait for an answer but when none came he sneered at the younger boy. "I didn't think so. Why do you stay with them, Regulus?"

"I have nowhere else to go! And besides, I was only eight at the time if you remember, Sirius. I wasn't as strong as you."

"And you're still not. You're weak and pathetic. You go crawling back to those murderers year after year. She was our sister!"

Lily gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth before either boy could hear her.

"Shut up," Regulus hissed. "If you care so much, why haven't you told anyone yet?" When Sirius didn't say anything, Regulus frowned. "I didn't think so. You haven't got the guts for that have you? You're all talk. At least I don't pretend to be all good and noble. If anyone knew who you were -"

"Shut up!" Sirius yelled, immediately drawing the attention of Madam Pince who practically ran towards the Gryffindor sixth year and Slytherin fourth year. When she opened her mouth to screech at them, Sirius said, "Oh shut it, Pince. I was just leaving anyway."

---

"Cat got your tongue, Padfoot?" James asked in Charms class, their last class before the holidays. No one was working particularly hard and the tiny Professor Flitwick seemed to have given up.

"Sorry, Prongs."

"Listen, I know you're not a fan of Christmas. But this year'll be good, yeah? Half the Gryffindors are staying behind. It'll be fun."

Sirius shrugged and James surveyed him shrewdly, meeting eyes with Remus who stood on Sirius' other side.

"I wish I didn't have to go home for Christmas, it would be more fun to stay here with you guys."

"No one asked you, Wormtail," Sirius said bitterly.

James turned back to the frog he was supposed to be hitting with a singing charm but instead, he levitated it above his head and moved it slowly across the classroom so as not to attract attention. It caught Sirius' eye though and he watched it, a smile forming on his lips. With one last flick of his wand, James released the spell he was holding on the frog and it dropped a few centimetres into a cushion of red hair.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter as they saw Lily look up curiously to see what had hit her. Running a hand through her hair, she let out a shriek when her fingers found the frog.

"That wasn't nice," Remus commented as James left his desk and hurried over to Lily where she was hopping up and down waving her hands around her head as Sarah and Eleanor looked on in disgust, not sure what to do. James grabbed her arms and forced her to stand still. She did as she was told, her body shaking and saying, "Get it off, Potter!"

"I've heard that before," he joked. "Seem to be rescuing you a lot lately."

She glared at him. "Oh as if you didn't put that frog in my hair! GET IT OFF!"

James grabbed the frog out of her hair and grinned at her. "Get it off," he quoted. "That sounds quite sexual, doesn't it?"

"You are unbelievable," Lily breathed, taking a step away from him and the frog squirming in his hand.

"Aw, thanks sweetheart. You're not bad either Evans."

"Back to your desk, Potter. Stop harassing Miss Evans," Professor Flitwick squeaked, making his way over to see what all the fuss was about.

"Harassing? I just saved her!"

"Nice," Sirius muttered once James had wandered back over, a wide grin on her face. "I get the feeling she might have seen through that little trick though."

"Oh, really?"

"Yea, you know, just a notion."

James laughed and secretly congratulated himself. The plan had worked: Sirius was smiling.

---

Lily lowered her body into the steaming water and let out an audible sigh as her muscles relaxed and her skin began to warm up. Everyone was right: it was worth becoming a prefect just to use this bathroom. Lily swam a few paces in the clear bathwater (she hated bubbles) and then floated on her back, letting her long hair fan out around her. Mm, she could just feel her muscles loosening. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and let her body sink beneath the water. She was under for about fifteen seconds when a hand grabbed her and in her shock, she gasped in a large mouthful of water as whoever it was pulled her out of the water.

Unable to breath, Lily choked and gagged, feeling panic begin to fill her body as she was pulled half out of the water. Coughing and gasping for air, her eyes didn't register the boy in front of her but she could hear that he was saying her name in a slightly hysterical voice over and over again.

Suddenly, a wand was at her throat and the boy said, "Anapneo!" Feeling her wind pipe and lungs clear, Lily took in a deep breath and her eyes focused on Remus Lupin, crouched beside her, his eyes wide with fear.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lily snapped, very conscious of the fact that she was naked and laying half out of the water, even in her half-drowned state.

"I thought you were dead!" Remus said, angrily, his face turning red. "You were just lying there!"

"I was relaxing!" Lily said as she slipped back into the water, trying to cover herself up, not that there was any point, he'd already seen everything. "What are you doing in here, anyway?"

Remus looked away from her and said, "I was coming to take a bath. The door was unlocked."

"Oh," Lily said, wishing he would leave. This was very uncomfortable. He looked back up and she glared at him. "Enjoying the view?"

Remus shrugged and blushed. "I…umm, well I'm actually not that into girls." He smiled shyly. "I would be attracted to you, but you're missing a certain body part. I thought you'd have guessed by now."

Lily shrugged and stood a bit straighter. "You're good at hiding it." She paused for a moment. "Why do you hide it?"

Remus actually let out a humourless laugh before he answered. "Same reason I don't tell people I'm a werewolf. I like to fit in, go unnoticed." Remus smiled. "You've learned quite a lot about me lately."

"Not just you," Lily muttered but didn't elaborate when Remus questioned her.

"Well I better be going," Remus said, standing and smiling. "I'm sorry for almost drowning you."

"Ah, that's okay," Lily said with a smile. "If you want to stay, I don't mind. I could use the company."

Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Oh come on, the water's nice. I know you're cold and you're dying to get into the water with a gorgeous naked girl."

Remus laughed and shrugged, taking off his robes and folding them before unbuttoning his shirt.

"You're going to break a lot of girls' hearts, Remus Lupin," Lily said as Remus slipped into the water.

"It's not easy being a gay werewolf," he said quietly, once he was submerged in water. To tell the truth, he was as keen to have someone to talk to as she was. "One in every ten men are gay and about one in every hundred wizards trust werewolves. You do the math."

Lily smiled at him sadly and trod water for awhile before she swam over to the steps and sat down. "Do the boys know?"

"James and Sirius do."

"What do they think about it?"

Remus shrugged and smiled. "Like I said, they don't judge me. They like me for who I am."

"I'm glad," Lily said. She paused, wondering how to phrase her next question, but decided to go for the blunt approach. "What do you know about Sirius' family?"

Remus looked up and shook his wet hair from his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"I overheard him arguing with his brother."

"They talked?" Remus asked, his eyes wide and keen. "He kept that quiet."

"It wasn't a friendly conversation."

"No. What did you hear?"

Lily paused, but she had to tell someone, and she trusted Remus. "From what I heard, it sounded like their father killed their sister."

Remus let out a deep breath and swam over to sit by her. He sighed and scratched his head. "His sister's name was Isabel. She was five years younger than him and he loved her so much. Well, I got that from how he speaks of her anyway. By the time she reached six years old, she still wasn't showing any magical powers. Sirius' father took her to various therapists, Healers and professors and they all confirmed it: she was a squib." Remus sighed again and rubbed his eyes. "Apparently their father was so angry at having a muggle in the family he killed her, in front of his two other sons. Used her as an example and made it look like an accident."

Lily gasped and barely noticed her eyes had filled with unshed tears.

"Sirius had just started Hogwarts by this point. It happened during the Christmas holidays. He was pretty messed up and when he told James and me…Well, I could hardly believe it. We wanted him to tell someone, Dumbledore, but he wouldn't He would never turn in his family, but from that point onwards he practically disowned them. Regulus, his brother, was still living at home. I guess he was brainwashed by his father, I don't really know. According to Sirius, he's always been weak."

"That's terrible," Lily whispered, hardly able to believe what she had heard. "That poor boy, Sirius can't blame him, what was he supposed to do? Run away from home? Where could he go?"

"I know," Remus said. "We've tried talking to Sirius but he just clams up when the subject's mentioned." Remus paused. "He really loved that little girl. The way he'd speak about her…" Remus smiled. "His whole face would just light up."

Lily touched his arm and he took her hand in his. They both sat there for a long while until the bath water began to turn cold then they silently got out and got dressed, and without a word, left the room together.

* * *

AN: Review or the fish will find you...I'm serious...Next chapter is very funny i promise. And no flames. I can feel the heat already. xxx 


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** Now if i remember rightly, this is a pretty funny chapter. But my memory is fairly poor and my sense of humor is lacking...anyway, before i put you off completley, read and enjoy!

* * *

Turning her head to the right slightly, Lily squinted and leaned backwards. She squinted her eyes even closer together and cocked her head to the left. 

"Well?" Sarah demanded, losing patience.

Lily sighed and opened her eyes, looking back down at her lap. She was currently taking a very important quiz and she didn't like having her attention diverted to Sarah's outfit.

"Do you want the truth?"

"Only if it's nice," Sarah said, turning back to the mirror and pulling slightly on her mini-skirt, which Lily had referred to as an oversized belt just moments ago.

"Ok then," Lily said, sucking on the end of her quill and trying to decide between answers B and C. It was a very tough call.

"Lily!"

"What? I'm busy!"

Sarah strode over and picked up the magazine, wrinkling her arched nose in distaste. "_How sexy are you?_" she read. "Well, I don't need a magazine to tell me that. What do you think?"

Lily glanced up again at her friend's outfit and frowned. "You do realise it's winter?"

"Hence the stockings."

"I think you're the only girl who can dress like a slut and say the word 'hence' at the same time."

"I'm a smart slut," Sarah said, turning to the mirror and adjusting her knee high black boots. Her shirt was actually quite tasteful: red, long sleeved and collared. The buttons were done up higher than usual as well but Lily was sure that would be fixed soon enough. Sarah pulled again on her black mini-skirt and flicked her shiny black her over her shoulder. To top off the outfit, she pulled on a thick white fur cloak and rubbed gloss into her naturally red lips.

"Well, what do you think?" Sarah asked again as Lily finally decided that she would probably dress for comfort rather than fashion when going out and circled letter C.

"Well, if I was a stranger and I saw you on the street, I would have to say that you are the most expensively dressed prostitute I had ever met."

Sarah threw a pillow at her and said, "You think I should change the shirt?"

Eleanor walked into the room, towelling her hair dry and her eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw her friend. "Woah, who are you dressing up for?"

"It's not the shirt you have to worry about, Sarz," Lily said, silently adding up the points received on her quiz. "It's the barely-covers-your-arse skirt that might be the problem."

"Oh, whatever," Sarah said, pulling out clothes from her wardrobe for Eleanor to try on. "I felt way too overdressed at Slughorn's party last week."

"I wish I'd been invited to that," Eleanor sighed wistfully, taking the clothes Sarah handed to her. "It sounded like so much fun."

"Actually it was lousy," Sarah said, sitting primly on Lily's bed and raising a shaped eyebrow. "What are you frowning about Lily?"

"I might not be sexy, but I'm not frumpy!" Lily said and chucked the magazine on the floor in a fit of annoyance.

"Shit! You're not actually wearing that are you?" Sarah demanded, only just catching sight of her outfit as three other girls from their dormitory wandered in. "Jessica, tell her she can't wear that."

Jessica Hatcher, a small girl with curly brown hair wandered over and grinned at Lily's outfit. "Merlin, girl, what _are _you wearing?"

Lily glanced down at her outfit and smiled. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt of her father's sporting the words, _Manchester United_, and a large number seven on the back. She'd also picked out a plaid pleated skirt, which wasn't too bad when paired with the right thing, but looked completely ridiculous with her thick purple tights and yellow Wellington boots.

"James claims he can make any girl fall in love with him, but will he want me after he sees how ridiculous I look?"

The girls all laughed but Sarah just rolled her eyes.

"I reckon James won't be able to keep his hands off other girls for six months. And if he does hook up with anyone, well he loses the bet," Lily explained. "I'm just speeding things up."

---

Laughter and whistles followed Lily as she made her way downstairs to the common room party, but she took it in her stride: smiling and blowing kisses at her onlookers.

"Stunning," Remus muttered once Lily had made her through the crowds towards him. "It is however lost on James. He and Sirius went out to grab some things from the kitchen."

"Oh and I got all dressed up for nothing," she said which made Remus laugh. "You look very nice by the way," she said, and he nodded his thanks.

"I try my best. I like the boots. Nice touch."

"Thank you," Lily said gazing down at her large yellow boots and grinning. "I hope James appreciates all the trouble I went to."

An uplift of noise caused Lily and Remus to turn towards the portrait hole where James and Sirius where climbing through, their arms full of food, refreshment and Butterbeer.

"Good," she murmured. "I could really do with a Butterbeer right now."

"Hello ladies, Moony," James said as Lily, Remus, Eleanor and Sarah approached James and his table of food. "You all look exquisite," he said, barely batting an eye at Lily's ridiculous outfit.

"Thank you," Lily said, speaking for her friends as well. The room had gone slightly quieter and she had the horrible feeling that everyone was watching her and James. "How much for the Butterbeer?"

"Free for the ladies," James said, smiling and handing a bottle to Sarah and Eleanor. "Except for you, Lily."

"What?" Lily demanded.

"Oo," Eleanor whispered. "A hint James, the way to Lily's heart is through her stomach. Just give her a bottle and back away slowly."

"Really?" James asked, winking at Eleanor and making her blush. "Is that so?"

"I'll pay if that's what you want Potter," Lily said, her arms crossed.

"Of course not, my dear," he said sweetly, still smiling. "No, I think we should make this interesting. How about, I'll give you a Butterbeer if you give me a kiss?"

Lily laughed. "Thanks, but I'd rather share with my friends." Lily turned but Sarah and Eleanor had disappeared into the crowd.

"Just a little kiss," James said, waving the bottle in her face. "Everyone knows how much you love Butterbeer."

"Not enough to kiss you," Lily replied, turning as gracefully as she could in her wellies and stalking off.

"Nice try," Remus said, taking the Butterbeer from James' hand. "Maybe next time."

James scratched his head then took his own bottle and popped the cap. "How is it possible she manages to look completely gorgeous wearing that?"

"Oh so you did notice then."

"You know, I think that's the first time anyone has said no to kissing me."

Remus grinned. "Actually you asked Sirius in fourth year when you were completely wasted. He said no."

James glared at him. "And I thought we weren't going to mention that…ever." Remus just laughed and clapped him on the back.

"Where is Sirius anyway?" Remus asked, his eyes searching the crowded room.

"Probably off moping somewhere. You know he gets depressed for days after he speaks to his brother," James said, sighing and taking a swig from his bottle. Remus had told him the night before of his encounter with Lily and their discussion. James had even got past his outrage that Remus had seen her naked once he told his friend about Sirius' unfriendly conversation with Regulus.

"Do you want me to go and find him?" Remus asked, his eyes still scanning the room.

"Nah, I'll go. He'll be upstairs. Keep Peter distracted, ok?"

Remus nodded and watched his friend glance at Lily with a sigh and head upstairs. Poor James, he'd been planning on this night to make an actual move on Lily, maybe ask her out on another date, but if Sirius was upset, Remus knew James would stick by his side.

Sighing, Remus wandered over to Lily who was talking animatedly to a group of girls in the sixth and seventh year. Maybe he could put in a good word for James, so the whole night wasn't a total waste for him.

"Hi," she said once he'd ambled over and stood beside her. "Want to sit down? My legs hurt."

"Sure," Remus said, allowing her to take the bottle out of his hand and take a long drink from it. "James has gone looking for Sirius." He wasn't too sure why he told her, but he felt as if he owed it to her to know. She seemed a part of it now that she knew Sirius' stories. He felt she had the right to know what was going on.

"How is he?"

"Sirius?"

Lily blushed and shook her head. "No, how's James?"

"He'll be ok. He's a good guy, James." He nodded at the bottle now empty in her hand. "You owe him a kiss for that."

-

"Sirius?" James opened the dormitory door cautiously and peered around. The room was empty but that didn't fool James. He grabbed his cloak off of his bed and strode over to the open window, climbing out and onto the roof.

"You cold?" James asked his friend, sitting down beside him.

"Fucking freezing," Sirius said, taking a long drag on a joint and offering it to James, who took it but didn't raise it to his mouth. Instead he wrapped the cloak around his friend's shoulders and looked up at the night sky.

The evening was clear and thousands of stars winked down at him.

"You gonna have some, or can I have it back?" Sirius asked, gesturing to the joint in James' hand. James raised it to his mouth and took a deep intake of smoky breath before handing it back to Sirius.

"You really think getting stoned will help, Padfoot?"

"I hope so," Sirius said. "It's five years, tomorrow."

James nodded. He knew.

"She'd be eleven," he said quietly, his voice harsh with the pressure to not cry. "She was the most annoying kid ever. Always crawling all over me and sneaking into my bed at night time when she thought I was asleep."

James didn't say anything but took another drag from the joint. Instead of passing it back, he stubbed it out on the roof tiles and let it roll down before dropping over the edge.

"I get worried about you, you know? Think you're going to follow that," he pointed at the path the joint had just taken. "Just give up one day."

Sirius shook his shaggy head and wiped his eyes angrily.

"Promise me," James said quietly. "Promise you'll stick around."

Sirius looked up into James' wide, earnest eyes and nodded. "Yeah, mate. I'll be here. You can't get rid of me."

"Good," James said, and stood. "Don't stay out here too long. You sit on a cold surface too long and you get haemorrhoids."

"Charming," James heard Sirius mutter as he climbed back through the window and made his way down to the noisy common room.

-

"So, I hear you owe me a kiss?"

Lily turned around, her arms crossed. "Oh really, and why's that?"

James grinned. "Moony spilled the beans. Said you took one of my Butterbeers."

Lily opened her mouth in a good impression of incredulous disbelief. "Me? You're accusing _me_ of stealing your Butterbeer? Never!"

James grinned and shrugged. "Well I think I deserve a kiss anyway."

"Oh?"

"Yes, you see I have this reputation which actually means rather a lot to me, and I'm currently ruining it by talking to a girl wearing purple tights and yellow wellies."

"Well, that's your fault. I never asked you to talk to me."

"True, true," James said and flopped down on a couch. "Care to join me?"

Lily shrugged. Her feet were hurting again and her friends had disappeared. It was either talk to James or stand around on her own. She sat. "You smell like smoke," she said cautiously. She knew that smell and it disappointed her to smell it on James' clothes.

James sniffed himself then looked at her. "Where do you know the smell of pot from then?"

Lily blushed and scowled at her hands. Was she actually supposed to tell James that her father drunk and smoked himself into a stupor every time she saw him?

James noticed her discomfort and quickly spoke before she had to. "I was with Sirius. He was smoking."

"Is he ok?" Lily asked, meeting his eyes. They shared a significant look, something she'd never done with James before. She knew instantly that Remus had told him of their conversation for he showed no shock at her asking, and for a moment she realised how much he loved Sirius and that he'd do anything for him.

"He's pretty messed up actually," James said quietly. "I don't know what to do."

Lily sighed and tugged self-consciously on her short skirt. "Listen, James, about this bet. You've got a lot on your plate at the moment. We can just forget about it if that's what you want."

"Merlin's beard, no!" James said with a laugh. "It's barely a week and I've already got you willingly talking to me. Give it a few more minutes and we'll be passionately kissing."

"Doubtful, Potter," Lily drawled. "I don't kiss smokers."

James raised his eyebrows. "I told you I didn't-" but his words were cut off my Lily's mouth pressing against his own, her tongue running across his lips so he opened his mouth to allow her entry but she pulled back and glared at him, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

"You were smoking," she said coldly. "Don't lie, it's not becoming."

James watched her get up and stalk off towards the girls' dormitory before the full impact of what just happened finally hit him and he grinned to himself. Sneaky. Very sneaky.

* * *

**AN: **Righto well that's it for three weeks, and i will update wen i get back i promise! Please review! Cya xxx 


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **wow, so many of you need to be tracked down and smacked over the head with a dead fish it's not even funny...anyway, thanks to all my lovely reviewers, and sorry to make you all wait so long. i have been away on holiday and ive just started writing a novel (oo scary no?). dont worry tho, will be updating regularly. anyway please enjoy, nxt chap will be up soon!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Lily woke the following morning, the dormitory was very quiet. Looking around, she noticed that she was the only one left asleep; the other girls having already left for the holidays or gone down to breakfast. Groaning, Lily swung her legs out of her lovely warm bed and grabbed her towel. She was going to have a nice hot shower then spend the day curled up by the fire with a good book.

However, at that moment the dormitory door flew open and Sarah, Jessica and a seventh year girl named Haley Flink spilled into the dormitory laughing and smiling.

"Finally joined the world of the living, Lily? Eleanor said bye and have a Merry Christmas, by the way. We didn't want to wake you," Sarah said, sitting at the end of Lily's bed and pulling on the ears of Squishy – Lily's teddy bear. "Oh and the boys have invited us all down to Hogsmeade for a drink later today." She grinned mischievously. "James will be there."

"All the more reason for me not to go," Lily grumbled.

"I heard you and James were going out," Haley said, leaning casually against the doorway. "That's what he's been telling everyone anyway."

Annoyance fizzed under Lily's skin. How dare he tell people they were going out? "James is _not_ my boyfriend," Lily said firmly to Haley. "Nor will he ever be."

"Well," Sarah said, standing up. "Everyone's going down to the Three Broomsticks for their Christmas Party tonight, so you'll be all alone if you don't come."

"I'm not going," Lily said, grabbing her towel and heading for the showers.

---

"Evans, my pearl, what is this nonsense about you not coming down to the Christmas party at the Three Broomsticks?"

Lily looked up from her book to see James Potter dressed in what she assumed were terribly expensive designer jeans and an olive green cashmere sweater. He might as well have written 'Look at me, I'm rich' on his forehead. Lily cocked one eyebrow then returned her attention to her book.

"It's starts in an hour, you know. And as gorgeous as you look in sweatpants and an oversized jumper, you might be a tad cold."

Lily just sighed and turned the page.

Grinning to himself in a self-satisfied manner, James pulled the book from her hands and gazed squarely at her. "Well, if you're not going, neither am I. We can spend some quality time alone together."

Lily scowled at him. Alright, he had her there. It was either go to the party and spend a few hours in James' company along with half of the student body, or spend a few hours alone with James. It wasn't a difficult decision.

"You do realise that the more time I spend with you, the more I dislike you?" Lily asked, standing and snatching her book back.

"Oh, you'll get used to me," James said with a laugh.

---

"It's not working," said James, flopping down on his bed and rubbing a hand over his face.

"Having trouble getting the little guy up?" Sirius asked, grinning at his best friend.

"No!" James said haughtily, sitting back up and glaring at Sirius. "I mean this thing with Evans isn't working. The harder I try the more she seems to push away."

"Well obviously. It hasn't worked for six years. Why start now?"

"Maybe if you told her you liked her…" Peter suggested, trying to be included for once. The boys ignored him.

"You could try being nice," Remus suggested dryly, shaking out a shirt and laying it out on his bed.

James seemed to consider him for a moment then shook his head. "No…nice is boring."

"I'm nice," Remus protested, laying out a pair of socks next to his shirt.

"Yes and you're boring," Sirius said, indicating Remus' methodical routine of choosing clothes.

"Thanks, Padfoot."

"Maybe I need to change," James said more to himself than the others. "I need to try new tactics."

Sirius shrugged. "Or you could just keep doing what you are now, but at a deeper level. So instead of nicely taunting her, you could just tell her she's fat. Or insult her mother: that's a real turn on. Come on, James! Do you honestly think you'll win this bet by annoying her twenty-four seven? Pulling on her pigtails and pushing her in the mud won't work anymore. You've got to trick her into believing you're the perfect guy."

"What do you think, Remus?" James asked, getting off the bed and pacing the room. "You reckon that will work?"

"Don't get me involved," Remus said sharply. "You're not going to use me to get close to Lily."

"Oh come on," James pleaded. "You're so close to her! Hell, you've seen her naked."

"What?" Peter spluttered, gaping at Remus.

"Yeah, a real turn on," Remus muttered, carefully piling his selected clothes into his arms. "James, I am not going to help you manipulate her."

James scowled for a moment and then brightened. "So, what did she look like naked?"

Remus rolled his eyes and looked up from his bed to see three eager pairs of eyes watching him. "You're all perverts, you know that?" Their expressions didn't change and Remus sighed. "She's beautiful, ok?"

"That's as in-depth as your going?" Sirius asked, disappointed.

Remus nodded and left the room promptly before more questions could be fired at him.

---

"We'll have another round of drinks please," James said, waving his hand vaguely at the table as Madam Rosmerta smiled prettily at him and strode away, her hips swaying seductively.

"I'm fine actually, thanks," Lily said, having just been forced into trying mead, which she had never tried before and found she liked very much.

"Oh come on. Your love for anything digestible is notorious," James said with a grin.

Sighing to herself, Lily thought how cute that dimple was just under the corner of her mouth. Then she shook her head to clear it; the mead had gone straight to her head, as she knew it would – she had forgotten to eat dinner and her first mug of alcohol had been drunk on an empty stomach.

After another mug of mead, which she finally accepted from James, Lily was feeling very warm and comfortable. She noticed her shin was resting against James' but she didn't move it. He had nice shins too…not as nice as that dimple but not bad. Maybe if he had a dimple on his shin…Lily rolled her eyes and mentally told herself to shut up. It retorted by sticking out its tongue at her. She only stopped arguing silently with herself when she realised she was pulling funny faces and Sirius was watching her with a bizarre expression.

"Alright, who's up for dancing?" Sarah asked, draining her mug and heading towards the almost-empty dance floor.

Lily leapt to her feet and dragged Haley and Jenny up with her. "Come on Remus," Lily pleaded, unable to drag him as well due to a lack of hands.

"Nah, I don't dance," he said. "James does though."

Considering him for a moment, Lily let go of Jenny and took James by the wrist, leading him to the dance floor. The consequences of her actions didn't seem to be much of an issue anymore…she just wanted to get a bit closer to that dimple…or the shin. Dammit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Righto. thanks for reading. please just take one second and review. i will be eternally grateful...(not to seem desperate or anything :D). xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: **Eek...ok so I'm not too sure about this chapter...Thinking of rewriting it. Anyway, please read and tell me what you think!

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The week before Christmas passed faster than Lily would have liked, despite the fact she spent the first few days of holiday in an embarrassed sulk, reading novels and grunting at those who interrupted her. James, after being told he had cute dimply shins, took the chance to talk with her whenever he could, but given her bad mood, had come to follow everyone else's example of keeping away until Lily recovered from her first drinking disaster.

The night before Christmas, Lily woke with a start, feeling as though someone was watching her. It took a moment for her to realise that she was still sitting in her favourite armchair by the fire, a book resting in her slack grip. Wiping her eyes, she looked up and let out a shriek.

James Potter jumped almost out of his skin and let out a scream as well, almost matching hers in pitch. Only when Lily recovered and let out a giggle did James's scream peter out and he frowned. "You trying to scare me to death, woman?"

Lily attempted to get serious and yell at him for watching her sleep, but found she couldn't as another snort of laughter followed instead.

"What's so funny?" James asked, scratching the back of his head and feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.

Lily just shook her head and laughed even harder. Only when her giggles had subsided did she look up and notice that his hair was ruffled, his smooth skin raised in goose bumps under his thin singlet shirt and a pair of slippers poked out from under his long grey pyjama pants. Clearly, he had just woken up and had not been watching her the whole night.

"Well?" he demanded, shifting something hidden behind his back.

"You scream like a girl," Lily said, feeling her mouth twitch upwards again. James blushed and she continued, "Why were you watching me sleep, anyway? It's creepy."

"I wasn't. I got hungry so I came down to get some food and you were asleep on the couch."

The word 'food' made Lily suddenly realise how empty her stomach felt She couldn't remember eating dinner…. "What time is it?"

James looked at his watch and said, "Half past eleven."

"You'll get caught."

He grinned at her. "Nah, I won't. Are you concerned about me or something?"

"Of course not. But if you get caught, how are you going to bring me back any food?"

Slowly, James smiled as he realised she was teasing him. Maybe he was slowly winning this bet after all…. "You wanna come with me?"

Giving him a withering look, she stretched her legs and stood. "I'm a prefect. That means I try to follow rules every once in a while, and not wandering around the castle at night is one I try and stick to."

James snorted. "That's not what Moony said when he met you in the Prefect's bathroom."

Feeling her face get hot, Lily rubbed her nose uncomfortably. "I knew he'd tell you about that."

"Yea," James sighed. "I've been running down to that bathroom every evening just in case you forget to lock the door again."

Lily grinned in spite of herself and James took this as encouragement.

"Come with me. I know you're hungry," he tempted. "Trust me, we won't get caught."

"Trust you?" Lily asked with a laugh but her laughter faded as James pulled out an invisibility cloak from behind his back.

"This here is the key element to my rule-breaking and adventuresome nature. Fits three and a rat."

Lily frowned. "I haven't got a rat."

"Well if you did it would fit."

"What?"

James just laughed. "Are you coming?"

Lily hesitated but she realised she'd never broken any serious school rules before, never lived even a little over the edge. Why not go? After all, what was the worst that could happen? "Okay," she finally agreed. "But if we get caught, I am sticking to the story that I was Imperious-ed and kidnapped."

"Fair enough. But you're going to have to stay close to me so our feet don't show."

She considered him for a moment and then inclined her head. "Fair enough."

---

"Do you know where you're going?" Lily whispered angrily after half an hour's wandering.

"Of course I do," James replied. "I sneak down here at least once a week."

Lily was distracted for a few minutes, wondering how he stayed in such good shape yet ate even more than she did (which was saying something).

"I'm sorry about the other night," James said suddenly, pulling her out of a vivid daydream of James' shoulder muscles.

"What other night?"

"At the party. I shouldn't have made you drink the mead. I'm sorry."

"You didn't make me," Lily replied, confused by his apology. "It was my decision. I could have just not drank it."

"Yea but I was the one who -"

"James," Lily interrupted. "Let's not mention it, ok?"

James was silent until they arrived outside a large painting of various fruits. "We're here," he whispered, stretching a hand out from under the cloak and tickling the pear until it turned into a handle and he swung the newly-formed door open.

Lily was shocked by the huge kitchen, teeming with house elves anxious to serve them. Fifteen minutes later they left, the pockets of Lily's robes bulging with pasties and cakes. Although she hated to admit it to herself, it was a bit of a thrill wandering around the castle after dark, knowing that she was breaking the rules. Not to mention the fact that she kept brushing up against James as they attempted to stay completely hidden by the cloak.

"Where did you get this cloak from anyway?" Lily asked as they were walking through the Transfiguration hallway. (She'd noticed James was taking them the long way around but she didn't comment.) "I heard they're supposed to cost a fortune."

James shrugged. "It's been in my family for years. We've got quite a few heirlooms and stuff like that."

"Oh right, you're rich," Lily said dryly. "I'd almost forgotten."

"No need to be sarcastic. I can't help being rich. It's like being good-looking, I can't help that either."

Lily gasped at his arrogance and missed his grin under the shadow of darkness. "My god! With a head that big, I'm amazed you can actually fit it that far up your arse."

James let out a loud burst of laughter which made Lily jump and clamp her hand over his mouth. Something, or someone, had moved in the darkness.

"Our feet!" James whispered, quickly pulling her against him so the cloak covered their toes. In the only part of her brain that seemed to be left working, Lily thought that James hadn't really needed to pull her so close or wrap his arms around her, but even that part of her brain shut off as the shape of Apollyon Pringle, the caretaker, loomed out of the shadows.

"Who's there?" Mr. Pringle called, raising a lamp ahead of him squinting into the darkness. "You can't hide."

Feeling Lily's body tense and quiver against his, James breathed in her ear, "Shh, it's ok. He can't see us. We need to move slowly back the way we came."

Lily found herself nodding, although her heart seemed lodged in her throat, and she was surprised the old caretaker couldn't hear it pounding noisily. Very slowly, the cloaked pair took a few silent steps backwards until they slipped around a corner and into a hidden alcove behind a large tapestry. Feeling a bit safer, Lily loosened her grip around James' body so his blood could once again circulate.

Heavy footsteps made their way slowly passed their hiding place and the tapestry swayed as something brushed it. Squeezing her eyes tightly closed, she clung to James and buried her face in his chest.

"It's ok, he's gone," James whispered after a few moments of silence.

Looking up, Lily noticed her eyes were mere centimetres away from James' well defined jaw. Releasing him quickly, she cleared her throat awkwardly and glared up at James who was grinning at her.

"And you said I should trust you…"

"We didn't get caught did we?"

"Almost!" Lily whispered angrily.

"Aw, come on. It was fun! It's never as much fun when there's no risk. Plus I like having you pressed up against me. We should do that more often."

"Sex," Lily muttered heatedly. "It's all boys think about."

"Oh come on, that's not true. I also think about Quidditch…and food. Oh and especially toilet jokes."

"Wow, I can just feel myself falling in love with you."

"Of course you can."

---

When the two of them finally pushed their way back into the common room, Lily found herself laughing with James. She supposed it had been sort of fun, in a scary way. After all, she'd never done anything even remotely risky before and the adrenaline felt good. After relighting the fire, the pair sat down and ate their way through most of the food, while James provoked Lily in as many ways as he could possibly think of.

Almost an hour of eating, teasing and laughing passed before Lily found herself yawning and her eyes beginning to droop. When she rose to go to bed, James stood as well and took a step towards her.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, cupping her face in his hands and sliding his fingers backwards through her thick hair. Gently he pressed his lips against hers, then kissed her forehead.

Lily stood still for a few minutes after he disappeared up to bed, a finger pressed to her lips and a frown on her face. It had barely been three weeks, and she was falling for him.

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**AN: **Ok, thanks for reading! Please review! xxx


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** Sorry this took to long. Guess that's waht happens when you leave a 10,000 word essay to the last minute. sorry if this chapter isn't the greatest. it's more of a transition chapter (and yes this story is actually going somewhere!) Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!

**Dedication:** To Steve Iriwn. The world cried when you died...let's hope they're all wrong and animals do go to heaven.

**Disclaimer**: not today...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm losing," Lily muttered quietly to Sarah on Christmas day. They had just finished lunch in the Great Hall and all the Gryffindors who had stayed for the holidays were relaxing in the warm common room.

"Losing what?" Sarah asked, barely glancing up from the book Lily had given her that morning. It was the third in a muggle romance series that she had become addicted to over the summer. As much as Sarah liked to pretend that she didn't even have the smallest streak of romance in her, it was there: present as it was in all girls whether they wanted it or not.

"The bet," Lily whispered, watching James out of the corner of her eye. They had exchanged polite, 'Merry Christmas!'s and small presents that morning but had not talked since then. Maybe James didn't want to overwhelm her, or maybe he was feeling awkward about the previous night. Lily didn't know, but she hated not having his constant attention.

"How are you losing? To lose you have to fall in love with him, and I can't see that happening."

"He kissed me last night," Lily said, feeling her cheeks warm as she remembered.

"So?" Sarah said, laying her book down on her lap. "Guys kiss me all the time. Doesn't mean I love them."

"Yea but you're different! Guys kiss you because you always let them. When someone kisses me it's a big deal."

"Well, I'm sorry," Sarah said in annoyance. "Guys _like_ kissing me. Maybe because, unlike you, I don't expect _marriage_ when it happens." A long silence followed this statement, until Sarah finally sighed and put her book down. "Listen, Lily," she said in a much kinder voice. "This whole bet has been crap from the beginning. You've been obsessed with him since the start of the year."

Lily opened her mouth to protest but Sarah hurried on.

"You're always talking about him, and if you're not, you're hoping that someone will mention him just so you _can_ talk about him. Ok, so maybe you don't love him, but I know a part of you wants to."

Lily didn't speak for a long time as Sarah's words began to sink in. She shook her head. "I don't love him. And I'm not so sure I want to. See, ever since I was little, I've had this image in my head of what my husband would be like, and he's everything James isn't."

"Poor, ugly, stupid and boring you mean?"

"No, he's caring and sweet and deep and – and careful."

"Sounds boring to me," Sarah muttered. "What do you want a careful guy for anyway? What does that even mean?"

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. I want a guy who isn't going to go out and get himself killed on some stupid adventure."

Considering her for a moment, Sarah finally scratched her head, then said, "Well why don't you change your image of the perfect man. I mean, you've changed since you were a little girl, your dreams should too, shouldn't they?"

"Maybe." Lily sighed and rubbed her face. "I just really want to win this bet."

"The fact that you're doubting your ability to win is worrying. He's getting too comfortable. You need to keep him on his toes."

"And how do I do that?" Lily asked sceptically.

"My older brother, Nathan. He's had a crush on you for ages. Why don't you take him out to Hogsmeade sometime? It'll take your mind off of Potter, and he'll be left very confused."

"I don't know," Lily began, not liking the idea of using her best friend's older brother as a distraction.

"Next Hogsmeade trip is in two weeks. I'll tell Nate to meet you."

Lily sat in a silence for a long while as Sarah picked up her book and kept reading. She hadn't been completely honest with her friend, as her feelings of dislike towards James were decreasing with each passing day. Sometimes, when he was near her, or when her thoughts happened to stray to him as they so often did these days, her heart would flutter and she felt a peculiar happiness run through her veins that made her smile to herself and run a hand sub-consciously through her hair. It wasn't love – no, Lily had read enough romance novels and experienced enough crushes to know the difference between like and love, but it was the first step. And everyone always said, the first step is the hardest. Well, if she'd already passed the first step, how long would it be until she was just another swooning groupie, clinging onto James' every brief glance in her direction?

"Sarah?"

"Mm?"

"What if I do fall in love with James?"

"Then you lose the bet. Big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal! It's my only chance to prove that he isn't as amazing as he thinks he is."

Sarah shrugged. "I don't think you're going to fall in love with him anyway. At least, not soon. You hate him too much to love him. Right now it's just passion. Only when that fades are you left with love."

Lily grinned. "As soon as the passion fades in your relationships, you dump the guy."

"Yeah, well I find out that I don't love them," she said with a shrug. "Ooo," she breathed, her eyes falling over Lily's shoulder. "Incoming, two o'clock."

"My two o'clock?"

"If it was your two o'clock I'd be looking over my shoulder wouldn't I?"

"Why would you be looking over your shoulder?"

"Because your two o'clock is behind me, so I'd have to turn around, see him, then turn back, and tell you. By that point you would have already seen him and it would be completely pointless me telling you he was there."

"Well how am I supposed to know where two o'clock is if I'm facing this way?"

"Three o'clock! Four, five, six…and he's gone. Ouch. Not even a glance our way."

"That's not James!" Lily commented as she watched the tall boy walk past.

"I never said it was James," Sarah said peering over her shoulder at Sirius' retreating back.

"I thought you hated him."

"I do," she insisted and licked her lips. "Doesn't mean he's not completely gorgeous."

---

"Can you lip read?" James asked, pulling a grape off of the bunch in his hand and squinting one eye closed.

"Not last time I checked," Remus replied dryly. "What are you doing?" The two boys were leaning against the stone banister, peering down at a group of students standing in the hall below.

James didn't reply, just stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth, drew his arm back then let the grape fly. It just missed the back of a girl's head. James frowned.

"That was terrible," Remus commented.

"Yeah, well, Seekers tend to catch not throw."

"You think that throwing grapes at Lily's head will really get her attention?"

"If someone chucked a grape at me, it'd get my attention."

"You should try a watermelon then. That'd definitely get her attention."

James grinned and popped a grape into his mouth. "You reckon she's talking about me?"

"Well," Remus said. "It's hard to tell. 'Specially as I don't lip read and her back's to me."

"You know, she's barely spoken to me since Christmas Eve. _And_ I heard she was going on a date with that Nathan Taylor in the seventh year this weekend. She's _way_ too good for him."

"I thought it was against the bet rules to date other people," Remus said, wincing as the next flying grape hit a first year in the face.

James frowned. "No. _She's_ allowed to date. I'm not."

"Ah. Prongs, watch out," he scolded as the next grape barely missed Professor McGonagall who looked around suspiciously to see where the flying fruit was coming from.

"You reckon I shouldn't have kissed her?" he asked. His next grape hit right on target. Jumping backwards, he pressed the fruit into Remus' hands and flattened himself against the wall, so when Lily turned she saw only Remus leaning over the banister.

"What?" Lily called up to him, turning from her friends.

Remus scowled, and felt as though he should loudly call down one of James' more embarrassing moments, but sighed within. He was too nice. That was his problem. At least, that's what the boys always told him, and they were generally right. Well, about him anyway. "Just wondering if you wanted to come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Lily raised her eyebrows in surprise but smiled and nodded her head. "Yeah that'd be great."

"Cool," he replied loudly and turned back to James. "You can thank me later."

---

"That seat's taken," Lily said as James moved over to sit besides her.

"You said that last time, and I pointed out that this seat is not taken as, firstly, no one is sitting there, and secondly, this was Sarah's seat and as she doesn't take Potions anymore…"

Lily scowled at him then moved her bag so he could sit.

"So I hear you're going out with that git, Nathan Taylor," James said casually, although at a closer look, Lily could see he was anxious for the answer.

"We were going to go out this weekend, but then Remus asked me…" she trailed off, staring at him suspiciously as a few things began to click. "Wait a minute. Did _you_ get Remus to ask me to Hogsmeade this weekend so I wouldn't go with Nate?"

Grinning, James shook his head. "Nah. That was all his idea." When Lily only glared at him, he asked, "So are you still going with Moony then? Or are you so angry with him that you'd rather go with me instead?"

"Yea, right," Lily scoffed. "I'd rather go with _Severus_ than you. And believe it or not, I actually enjoy spending time with Remus. He doesn't have to bribe or blackmail me into hanging out with him."

"Alright, class, settle down!" Professor Slughorn called from the front of the classroom, cutting off James before he could make a smart remark. "Today we will be starting our five week project, which is going to be seventy percent of your term mark, so I hope you like the person sitting next to you, as they will be your potions partner for this project."

Her mouth falling open, Lily turned to James. She glared at him, knowing he couldn't care less about Potions lessons or his marks. All he wanted was to become an internationally famous Quidditch player and sleep with lots of giggling, blonde fans.

"The complex potion you will be making this year is the famous, and extremely valuable, Infinito Incendia." Slughorn paused for effect and gazed around the room. "This potion, if not created perfectly can have disastrous results, so trust between partners is crucial."

"You've got to be kidding me," Lily muttered to herself. Alright, he had always been a general annoyance, but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't _wait_ until she won this bet and he'd leave her alone. Although…she still thought about him a lot more than was normal and his –

"Lily," James hissed, elbowing her. "I hope your listening 'cause I'm not."

Shaking her head to clear it, Lily turned her attention back to Slughorn, a frown on her face.

-

"Stop!" Lily yelled, grabbing James' arm before he dropped in the unicorn hoof. "If you put that in now, the potion will get too hot, boil, then burst into flames. Not a good thing as we're making _Infinito Incendia_."

"Yea, what is that again? Is that the fire that never goes out or the one that helps guys get it up?"

Lily shoved the piece of parchment with a description of Infinito Incendia and the directions on how to make it into James' hands, then turned back to the potion. It was getting too hot, and bubbles were beginning to rise from it. Quickly poking her wand at the fire underneath, she reduced the temperature but added a few drops of spider venom just to make sure the potion cooled enough.

"That's not fair," complained James. "Why are you allowed to add random potions ingredients, which aren't on the list," he tapped the parchment for emphasis, "but I'm not? Don't you trust me?"

Lily sighed and stirred it three times anti-clockwise. "Now, we just need to add three and a half grams of lacewings then we can leave it to sit for a week."

"Oh good," James said, chucking in a handful of lacewings and picking up his bag.

"Potter!" Lily shrieked as the potion turned a bright red, the color of molten metal which hurt to look at. She threw out an arm and pushed him backwards as the potion began to splatter then cool.

"Woops," he muttered.

Sighing, Lily picked up her bag as well and after checking to make sure he'd caused no lasting damage, carefully levitated the cauldron over to a side-counter to sit until next lesson. She could have complained, she supposed. Maybe asked Slughorn for a new partner, but the mark of a good student was one who could work with anyone with no complaints. And Lily always wanted to prove she was a good student.

_Only another four lessons_, she told herself wearily as she left the classroom, a humming James trailing close behind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merci! Please review, even if you don't have much to say, i always like to know what you think and any ideas you might have. also, if you don't like the way the story's going and you have some suggestions, tell me! thanks! update should be sooner this time. xxx


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:** Thanks so much to all my reviewers! Anyway, here's the next chapter. If i don't update before wednesday, then i won't be updating for probably another week, coz im going away. anyway, enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I just think my name's boring," Sarah explained, examining her nails.

"Your name's fine," sighed Lily, looking up a definition in her large Ancient Runes dictionary.

"Ah, see, you said it was fine. Not amazing or exotic."

"It's better than Eleanor Harvey," their friend complained, attempting to charm Lily's pencil case to sing. She was improving as well: it was now softly humming the theme to Mission Impossible.

"I was thinking something more dramatic, like, Sarah Zabini," Sarah said, waving her hand in front of her in a theatrical flourish.

"Zabini?" Lily asked, frowning at her translation. That wasn't right…Stone Henge had not been constructed by three talented goats…

"It's my mum's last name. And ever since my dad deserted us when I was just three, I haven't been too fond of the name 'Taylor'."

"How do you say 'goat' in Runish?" Lily asked thumbing through her dictionary. Leaning over her shoulder, Sarah glanced at her translation.

"No, that says, Kapria…goat is Kapra. And I'm not so sure 'Runish' is the correct term…"

"So what's Kapria?"

"It's the name given to a sect of ancient wizards. They worshipped the sun and believed that's where the force of magic came from. They erected all sorts of monuments across the world to honour it."

Eleanor and Lily stared at their friend blankly.

"How do you know that?" Lily asked incredulously. It was amazing the amount of useless information she managed to retain.

"History of magic," Sarah said with a shrug. With a glance to her left, she pulled the elastic out of her hair and let the silky dark brown waves cascade around her shoulders, drawing the attention of a group of boys lounging in the common room: Sirius included.

"Be more obvious," Eleanor muttered. Sighing she moaned, "Do you think I'll ever get a boyfriend?"

" 'Course you will," Lily and Sarah said in unison.

"In fact, my brother's free this weekend," Sarah commented with a glare at Lily. "Since he was so rudely left hanging…"

"What? Remus asked me first. He's my friend," Lily explained. "And besides, _you_ should still be apologizing on bended knee to _m_e. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have to work with that _git_, Potter, in Potions class. He almost set fire to himself last week. And the thing is, I know he's not rubbish at Potions, 'cause he's not rubbish at anything. He's just being moronic on purpose."

---

"You look like shite," Sirius said, chucking a pillow at his friend who only groaned in response.

"You reckon he's sick?" Remus asked, also grinning down at James who's grey-tinted face was beaded with sweat.

"Fuckin' wankers," James moaned, attempting to pull the curtains closed around his bed but his arms were too heavy too move. His head pounded dully and his throat was burning as though it had been torn to shreds. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and soft, and his left eye was twitching violently. Although, he wasn't sure that was one of the symptoms of his cold. People's eyes didn't usually attempt to jump out of their head. Even when they were dying, and James was positive he was dying.

"So…not coming out with us tonight then?" Sirius asked, nudging his friend in the leg. "You know you want to."

"I'm dying and you want me to run around the countryside?" rasped James, pressing a hand to his sweaty forehead. He definitely had a fever.

"Anyway I better be going. Said I'd meet Lily at one," said Remus, picking up his scarf and heading for the door.

James moaned again. "Say nice things about me!"

Grinning, Remus opened the door. "I'll try and think of something," Remus said.

He met Lily in the common room and they walked into town together, shivering in the cold air, their breath steaming in front of them. Hogsmeade looked beautiful in the winter, the cottages piled high with thick white snow, lights glinting out through the windows. Hurrying into the Three Broomsticks, the pair ate lunch then spent a few hours perusing the various shops. They stopped off for a quick coffee at Madame Puddyfoot's before rushing to the town hall, where a show was being performed by the Wandering Wandless Wizards: Casting the Spell of Entertainment. This evening they were doing a re -enactment of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, but involving many more warlocks and trolls than the original contained.

After it was finished, Lily persuaded Remus to take a quick stroll up the Hogsmeade hill, so they could look out over the small village and across the large, dark lake bordering the Hogwarts grounds. By the time they reached the top, both Lily and Remus were puffing and a thin film of sweat covered them in spite of the cold air. Sitting down on a fallen tree, Remus wiped a space next to him clear of snow so Lily could sit as well. They talked for a long time, about the play, schoolwork, and life in general, until they fell silent.

"You know, you're one of the few people I feel totally comfortable with," Remus said quietly, breaking the stillness between them.

"You too," Lily whispered. "I never have to try to be something I'm not when I'm with you. I can relax."

They smiled at each other and before Lily knew it, their lips were pressed together. Who initiated the kiss, Lily didn't know, but it lasted only a split second before they pulled away and gazed at the other.

"Yep, definitely not," Lily said, just as Remus said, "Mm, still gay."

They both laughed and Lily rested her head on his shoulder, looking up at the night sky. She was glad she hadn't come with Nate. Yes, ok, he was very good-looking in a clean-shaven Italian sort of way, but he was too sappy and emotional for her. He was forever writing poetry or sketching pretty landscapes in charcoal, and, while both were extremely romantic traits in a cheesy movie or sappy book, they weren't what she was looking for in a boy.

"Look, the stars are coming out," Lily muttered as the clouds parted and the clear sky became dotted with tiny pin-pricks of light. Suddenly, she felt Remus stiffen besides her and she sat up. "What's wrong?"

His face had turned ghostly white. "Oh my god," he muttered. "I forgot. I was supposed to be back at the school by five. Lily, run."

"What?" Lily asked, scooting away from him and resting a hand on his shoulder.

"It's the full moon tonight. I – I completely forgot. Lily you've got to run, as fast as you can. Get Dumbledore and tell him where I am."

"But -."

"Run!" Remus yelled, pushing her away and standing up, limping away from her as his limbs began to shake.

"I can't leave you," Lily muttered, panic and fear filling her body as she stood, backing away from him. An eerie light began to fill the clearing as the moon peaked out from behind the wispy clouds. She could clearly see Remus, his whole body erect and frozen, visibly shaking, hear sprouting from his skin.

She ran. Sobs filled her chest and throat as her feet pounded down the path towards Hogwarts. She reached the castle within five minutes and burst through the huge oak front doors into the Entrance Hall and straight into a boy standing behind them. They both toppled over and Lily found herself laying on top of James, dressed in pyjamas and a dressing gown, his hair messier than usual and his face a pale green.

"We have to get Dumbledore!"

"What?" James croaked, too sick to feel excited at having Lily laying on top of him.

"Remus!" she cried. "He's still in Hogsmeade."

James' face paled. It went from greenish-grey to white as a sheet and he got to his feet, pulling Lily up with him. "Is he near people?" he demanded, hurrying up the marble staircase, pulling Lily with him.

"Not when I left him," Lily replied, trying to get her breath and wipe her face clean of tears at the same time.

They collided with Dumbledore in the Transfiguration corridor and before they could speak, he asked, "Where is he?"

"I left him on the top of the Hogsmeade hill. It was just the two of us. He was alone when I left," Lily said, clutching at a stitch in her side.

"Right," Dumbledore said hurriedly, his face grave. "You two may wait in my office until I return with news, if you wish. I know how much Remus means to you both. The password is peppermint humbugs."

The pair nodded as Dumbledore dashed out of sight, then James took Lily gently by the arm and led her to a stone gargoyle, which permitted their entrance to Dumbledore's luxurious office.

"I shouldn't have left him," Lily whispered, once they were seated by the fire. "I just left him all alone in the woods."

"You did the right thing," James said hoarsely. "Remus…he becomes something else when he transforms. The human part of his mind is taken over by the monster and he can't control his body, no matter how much he wants to. He becomes dangerous – the werewolf inside him becomes dangerous. If you'd stayed…he would have ripped you to shreds."

"I deserted him though," Lily whispered, her bottom lips trembling. A tear rolled down her face and she brushed angrily at it. James sat softly on the arm of her chair and pulled her gently against him. Smoothing her hair soothingly, he kissed the top of her head. They sat together for almost and hour, when Lily looked up at him and said, "You look like shit, by the way."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**AN: **Thanks for reading. And please, review! They seriously make me write faster! Thanks! xxx


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:** Hello everyone! Back home at last and already missing london. Right, well this chapter is ok, but it's just one of those chapters that i needed to move the plot along a bit. next few chapters should be pretty good tho...ok well please enjoy:

* * *

A bitterly cold January faded into a dreary February and the snow began to melt, leaving the Hogwarts grounds wet and muddy. Looking up from her seat in Transfiguration, Lily caught Remus' eye and smiled, then looked back down at her ink-splotched hands. Ever since the night on top of Hogsmeade hill, he had been distant with her, embarrassed and shamed at what he had let happen. He was angry with himself for putting her in danger, Lily knew, but she wished he could just forget it. _She'd_ forgiven him hadn't she? Well, no, that wasn't quite true. She had never been angry with him, so she had nothing to forgive.

The bell rang, pulling Lily out of her reverie as chairs scraped around her. She stood, slowly gathering her belongings, and left the class, trailing behind Sarah and Eleanor.

"What class do you have now?" Lily asked her friends, digging in her bag for her schedule. (She'd yet to memorize her classes ever though the year was half over.)

"Lunch first, then Divination," Eleanor replied mystically, waggling her fingers at Lily and making her grin.

"Technically," Sarah began. "I have Potions after lunch. But I gave that up so now I have an extra free period."

Groaning, Lily stopped searching her bag and followed her friends down to the Great Hall.

"Stop sulking, Lily," Sarah said, loading her plate with cottage pie. "It's been three weeks and he's yet to blow up the classroom."

"Yeah, bet that'll be today," Lily muttered, looking up as the Marauders swaggered over and sat down beside them. Feeling a great swell of sadness, Lily noticed that Remus had sat down next to Sarah, about as far from Lily as he could manage. When would he realise this wasn't his fault? It had been weeks, and she was perfectly fine, except for the occasional twinge of guilt she felt for leaving him alone.

"Can't wait 'til summer," Sirius said through a mouthful of chicken. "On'y four an' a half months left now."

"Yea, first summer we'll be allowed magic," James said, heaping more food onto Lily's plate. She frowned and pulled her plate away so his next spoonful splatted onto the table.

"James' mum takes away our wands each year," Sirius explained, reaching across a pitcher of pumpkin juice and scraping up the cottage pie on the table before heaping it onto his own plate. "She always takes them away during the summer, ever since we both got letters from the Ministry of Magic during the first week of summer before second year."

"It's a bloody pain, too," James said, sneaking a buttered bread roll onto Lily's plate.

"Yea," Sirius began with a laugh. "There was that one time we were in Morocco and we went for a walk in the markets. Anyway we stopped to try some fruit at this one bloke's stall and James somehow gets a pistachio stuck up his nose. Couldn't get it out either, so we had to walk all the way back to the hotel, James trying to blow it out. I just about pissed myself laughing."

Lily snorted, almost inhaling her pumpkin juice by doing so. Grinning, James rubbed his nose in remembrance and winked at her.

"Then of course there was the time we got back from the pub to find we'd forgotten our key," Sirius reminisced.

"We were so pissed, and didn't want to wake Mum and Dad up."

"So James grabs this huge chunk of wood and smashes a downstairs window, climbs through and finds that the door was unlocked the whole time!"

The whole table laughed, even Lily, although somewhat reluctantly.

"And then of course there's the cow story," Remus said quietly, grinning mischievously.

"Don't you dare, Moony!" James said hurriedly, shooting Remus a warning glance.

"Oo, what's the cow story?" Eleanor asked, her large, innocent eyes round with curiosity.

"Remus -" James began warningly but his friend ignored him.

"Summer after first year," Remus began, leaning forward in his seat. "We were all in the South of France and staying in the countryside near the sea. Anyway, we were walking back from the beach one day and we passed this field full of cows. Now, being the way that he is, Sirius gets the amazing idea to dare James to hop into the field and milk one of the cows."

"You didn't," Lily said, laughing now and watching James shake his head sadly.

"I swear Remus, if you finish this story…"

"So of course, unable to pass up a dare, Little James hops over the fence into the field of cows. He picks out one of them, very nice looking cow she was too, just standing there lazily eating grass; didn't look too scary. Anyway, James decides to walk around the cow to milk her from the other side, and just as he's walking behind her, she lifted her tail and poohed on his head."

Everyone at the table roared with laughter, and even James grinned sheepishly. "Yea, okay, laugh it up."

The bell rang. Standing, Lily slung her back across her shoulder and hurried out of the Great Hall, not waiting for James: Remus was ahead of her, and she needed to talk to him.

Pushing herself through the throng of students, she managed to grab Remus' elbow and pull him out of the crowd and into an alcove.

"You've got to talk to me," she said softly, gazing sadly at her silent friend.

"I don't know what to say. I could've killed you."

"But you didn't. I'm fine."

"I can't forgive myself."

"You have nothing to forgive," Lily insisted. "I should be apologising too. I ran off and left you. You're my friend and I abandoned you."

Remus shook his fair head. "Don't be stupid Lily. You didn't abandon me. You ran away from a monster." He looked angry suddenly. "That's what I become: a savage monster that should be put down."

"Don't say that, Remus," Lily said sternly, grabbing his arm and forcing him to look at her. "Promise me you won't even think that! You're one of my closest friends. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Another bell rang, and Lily looked around distractedly. She was late.

"Please, can we just forget what happened? I really want things to be the way they were."

Remus nodded slowly and she smiled.

"I better go. Who knows what James will have done to the potion without me there to supervise." She stood on tiptoes and quickly kissed his cheek before hurrying down to the dungeons.

Lily's fears were to be confirmed as she pushed open the door to the classroom, only to find a bright blaze of fire meeting her eyes and a gust of heat. Students were standing on their desks, shrieking and yelling as the floor burned with liquid fire, licking at the table legs and dancing wickedly to its own crackling tune.

Swearing under her breath, Lily dug in her bag for the precious spider venom she had purchased over the summer. It had cost most of her spending but it was incredibly valuable and useful. Lily's eyes scanned the classroom and passed over Slughorn who was dancing anxiously on his desk, skipping away from the fire, and yelling out words of caution to the rest of the class, and rested on James, who was sitting on his own desk, a tipped over cauldron besides him. She shook her head.

Depending on how bad the fire was, a few drops on the source should put it out, everlasting fire or not. But unfortunately, this fire was bad, and ore than a few drops would be needed. She scowled then called out Potter's name before throwing him the glass vial. Luckily he caught it (his Seeker skills were good for something) and he hurriedly tipped the clear liquid on the floor around him. The area surrounding his desk froze and spread out icy tendrils, stopping the fire in its tracks and creating a sea of ice covering the dungeon floor.

Lily's ears were ringing from the shrieks of her classmates but that soon died down. Only when Slughorn called her name did Lily break her stony gaze at Potter who looked both shocked and sheepish.

"Lily Evans, James Potter, I need to talk to you outside. Class, don't even think of touching your potions until I come back!" Slughorn led the two speechless students outside the dungeon and closed the door with a snap. "Very quick thinking, Lily, very quick thinking. But still, this fire shouldn't have happened. Where were you, Lily? Class started five minutes ago and these potions are ridiculously complex. Two partners are needed to make the potion at all times, and your slack behaviour just won't be tolerated."

"Sir, that's not fair!" Lily began but James cut her off.

"Professor, I spilt the potion, not Lily. She wasn't feeling well at lunch and I told her to go to the hospital wing. She wouldn't go until I assured her I wouldn't touch the potion until she arrived. It was completely my fault, not Evan's."

"Well," Slughorn stammered, his eyes travelling from one to the other. "You _are_ an excellent student, Lily. And I'd hate to see you fail this term because of Potter's mistakes. But even so, it takes five weeks to make Infinito Incendia, and the rest of the class is already four weeks into it."

"It's seventy percent of the term's mark, sir," Lily pleaded. "I can't afford a zero on that."

"Well, I suppose if you came in after classes, twice a week to work on it. You'll have to keep up with the class on our next project though. I'm afraid I can't make allowances, there just isn't time."

"I understand, sir," Lily said, fighting the urge to cry. It wasn't fair. Four or five hours after classes a week because Potter had been stupid, as always. _Although_, said the rational part of her mind, _he did stick up for me. Even though it _was_ my fault I was late_. Sometimes Lily hated that part of her mind.

"Alright then. You two are dismissed for today. There's nothing else you can do. But Potter, you can come back at five and clean up my classroom. There is ice everywhere."

---

"Don't talk to me," Lily said angrily as the pair walked through the castle back to the Gryffindor common room.

James closed his mouth and scratched the back of his head.

Unable to contain herself, Lily spun around and glowered at him. "You do realise, that because of you, I'm barely going to have time to do the rest of my homework! My marks are going to suffer in all my classes and I _need_ high results in my final exams this year if I want the teachers to take me on in their advanced classes next year. Why do you have to always be there to ruin my life, James? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I'm sorry," James said quietly, taking a step towards her. "Honestly, I really, really am. I slipped and grabbed at the potion and it fell. It was a freak accident. I – I don't know what to say. I know I've let you down and I'll work harder, I promise."

Lily gazed at him awhile, feeling her eyes welling with tears at the unfairness of it all but brushed at them angrily. "You grabbed the cauldron?" she asked dully. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, not really," James said, tucking one of his hands behind his back.

"Show me," Lily said more gently, tugging on his arm and taking his hand softly in hers. She tutted over it then said, "We'll soak it in Murtlap essence. Then I'll bandage the fingers for you. Those blisters are nasty."

James just nodded and allowed Lily to lead him back up to the Gryffindor common room. He knew he should be feeling guilty, and he was. It was obvious how upset Lily was. But still, a tiny part of him couldn't help feeling secretly pleased. After all, he now had four hours a week alone time with Lily.

* * *

Righto, well next update should be soon. And please, if you have a moment, i would love it if u could quickly review. Thanks for reading! xxx 


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **No, your not imagining things, this actually is an update! OK well this chapter is prob the turning point of the story. Umm yea, so thanks to all my reviewers, you guys are awesome! someone asked me to do longer chapters, so this one's a fair bit longer. eek, new episode of House tomorrow night! ok well, enjoy:

* * *

A soft tapping on the window woke Lily from a deep sleep one Saturday morning in early March. Lily rolled over and shoved her head under the squishy pillow. Consciousness was such an awful thing sometimes, but no matter how much she told it to go away, it kept pestering her. 

"Bugger off," she groaned and squeezed her eyes closed, trying to force herself back into sleep. But as always, the harder she tried to slip back into her dream, the more awake she became.

_Tap, tap_. Sighing, Lily pushed her heavy duvet off and slipped her legs out of bed. Frowning, she opened the window and let in the owl hovering outside, which she immediately recognized as her own.

"What have you got there, Hamilton?" Lily cooed softly, pulling an envelope out of the sharp beak of her large Sooty Owl. Sliding a finger under the lapel, she opened the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of thin, scented paper, decorated with flowers. Frowning, she recognized the decorative handwriting at once: her mother.

"Great," Lily mumbled, sitting down on her bed and crossing her legs under the blankets.

_Lily, darling,_ the letter read. _I know it's been a while since I wrote last but I'm doing well. Anyway, I'm writing to let you know that Daddy's in hospital. He's been having a bit of trouble lately but I'm sure he'll be ship-shape in no time. Oh and I dyed my hair, darling. Isn't that wonderful? I thought I'd try for sandy blonde instead of platinum. After all, a bit of variety never hurt anyone. I wish you had lovely blonde hair like Petunia, but I suppose you can't help being red-haired. How's the diet going? I hope you're still following it! Remember, two meals a day, and only eat small portions._ I _don't know where you got that chubbiness from. Not me certainly. Well, must be off, darling. I have a women's association meeting and Petunia's coming along for the first time today. I didn't tell any of the ladies I had two daughters, because that would raise funny questions, so I suppose it was a good thing you didn't come home for Christmas. Love you lots, darling. Mummy._

Lily glared at the letter for a few minutes, then screwed it up and threw it across the room with a shout of rage. She could feel her eyes welling with tears. How did her mother always have this effect on her? Make her feel like dirt…. And her father – well she knew all too well what his "bit of trouble" was. He'd probably drowned himself in alcohol or overdosed, or something equally pathetic.

It was so unfair! All she asked out of life was a pair of normal, loving parents, and perhaps a sister who could stand to look at her once or twice. It wasn't that much to ask was it? Everyone else seemed to have that, so what had she done so wrong that meant she was denied this?

Lily got out of bed and pulled off her clothes angrily, and while doing so, caught sight of herself in the mirror. Stopping her messy search through her wardrobe, she turned and looked at herself in the long, floor length mirror. Cocking her head to the side, she considered her body. She was fine. She looked _healthy_, something her _darling_ sister couldn't claim, with bones poking out under her thin, waxy skin. No, Lily thought she looked good: she had flesh. What was so wrong with that?

Lily punched out at the wardrobe angrily then gasped and clutched her hand. Bloody hell! She hopped around for a few moments, clutching her throbbing hand and cursing under her breath.

An hour later, fully dressed, Lily entered the common room, finding it scattered with half a dozen Gryffindors. She'd missed breakfast. _Mum would be proud_, Lily thought angrily. All in all, it wasn't a great start to her Saturday. Plus, she had three hours of Potions with Potter that evening. This would be their fifth session together, and, Lily hoped, their last. James had been quieter with her lately, not pestering her and only speaking to her in a civilised way. He was feeling guilty about his mistake, she knew, but he wasn't the same. She missed the constant jokes and attention but at the same time, felt stupid for missing them. Laughing bitterly to herself; she knew her craving of attention could probably be thoroughly psychoanalysed and of course the root cause would be her parent's lack of love. In her attempt to find love, she'd search anywhere possible.

Shaking her head in disgust, Lily stood and left the common room, not meeting anyone on her way outside. All day, she sat on the grounds by the lake, occasionally feeding grass to the giant squid, or changing positions to move out of the cold wind. This always happened. Whenever she got a letter from her mum, she ended up reconsidering her whole life, analysing every aspect of it and trying to find answers that just weren't there. She didn't even know the questions, but she just knew there was something out there, something she was missing and she had to find it.

Maybe James' lack of teasing and joking at her expense had brought them closer. _Great_, she thought, _back to that_. But it was true. Their weeks spent together making Infinito Incendio in the evenings had taught her to like him as a person. He was working hard, that was obvious, and when he spoke he was polite and respectful. Not that he'd become boring and awkward around her, it wasn't like that. He still laughed with her and gave her little smiles that he seemed to keep just for her. But maybe that was the thing right there: he was laughing with her now, not at her. Maybe he'd grown up. Or maybe he was just trying to win the bet: trying out new tactics. Lily couldn't tell and she was past the point of regretting the bet. She'd gone further than regret because, she figured, maybe that was the one thing she was lacking: love. But she wouldn't take James' because she'd lose. Her pride stood in the way of everything. Blocked out her feelings and even tainted her rational mind. All the while she'd believed he was the arrogant one, he was the proud one. But what if she was wrong, and it was her, not him?

Sighing, Lily stood and massaged her temples. She'd given her brain a thorough workout and she was ready for the cool easy logic of potion making. Checking her watch, she noted that she was still an hour early, but it didn't matter. It was getting cold outside and she was, at least, guaranteed an hour of alone time in Slughorn's dungeon. And that's what she wanted: to be alone. Only for a day. Tomorrow would be fine, it always was, but for today she had to be alone, had to focus on herself.

---

Lily was angry. More than angry, completely and utterly livid. Which wasn't a good thing when she was dealing with an extremely dangerous potion at its most delicate stage. He hadn't come. Just hadn't shown up.

"The potion has to be completed by 8 o'clock on the day of the half moon, Lily," Slughorn had said, his face plastered with worry for her. "I'll go and look for Potter, you get started."

So now Lily was on her own in the dungeon, carefully pushing a thin glass tube through the waxy skin which had formed over the potion. It wasn't dangerous anymore, and would only catch fire if lit with a match, but it was extremely delicate. Moving the tube to her left hand, she picked up the small bottle of Veela tears and carefully, carefully poured some into the tube. The potion under the skin began to bubble. Bugger. Moving to put the bottle down, her left hand slipped, causing the tube to rip a tear in the waxy seal, allowing the air to get into the Potion. Lily let out a small moan and felt her bottom lip begin to tremble. The Potion was bubbling up ferociously now, and Lily covered her head just in time as the greasy liquid exploded all over her and the classroom.

---

"Where is he?" Lily demanded angrily, leaning across the table and glaring at the two boys. Remus and Sirius gaped at her and leaned backwards, frightened by the grease covered monster in front of them.

"Who?" Remus asked, finding his voice before his friend.

"Potter. Where is he?"

"Dunno. He had a meeting with Dumbledore earlier this evening, but haven't seen him since then," Sirius said.

"Lily, calm down, and tell us what happened," Remus said gently.

"That _git_ Potter decided not to show up this evening and he left me alone to finish our Potion. Only I didn't finish it! You want to know why? BECAUSE IT EXPLODED ALL OVER ME!"

"He might be in the common room," Remus said quietly as he and Sirius drew back from her.

"Thanks," Lily muttered, turning to go.

"Lils, wait," Remus said and she turned to face him. "Scourgify," he said, waving his wand at her and removing the potion from her robes and skin.

"Thanks," Lily said again and hurried out of the Great Hall. She took the marble staircase two steps at a time and reached the Portrait Hole, panting slightly.

"Are you alright, dear?" The fat lady asked, but Lily ignored her, panting, "Frogspawn" and climbing through the portrait hole. A quick scan of the crowded common room showed James was not there. Her blood still fizzing with anger, Lily strode over to the boys' spiral staircase and hurried up them. The door to the sixth year's dormitory was closed but she pushed it open and glanced around the room for James.

There he was. Lily opened her mouth to yell at him, but then took in his appearance and stopped. He hadn't looked up when she burst through the door. He was sitting in the corner of the room, his legs drawn up to his chest, his face buried in his knees. She couldn't see his face, but his shoulders were shaking as sobs racked his body.

"James," Lily exclaimed, a soft wave of panic washing over her as she hurried to him and kneeled down beside him. Still, he didn't look up, and Lily pulled him to her, rubbing his back soothingly and making soft noises to calm him. "James, what's happened?"

His head was buried in her shoulder and Lily could feel him shake it and instead of speaking, thrust a piece of paper at her.

Drawing back, she took the crumpled parchment from his hand and smoothed it out. It read:

_Dear Albus,_

_You-know-who attacked again last night, this time killing two of our most prominent members of society. He took the lives of Prudence and Luke Potter, and I am leaving you to tell their son, as you knew them better than I. I'm terribly sorry for your and the boy's loss; I know you were very close to them. _

_Yours truly,_

_Mr. Gregroy Prosser_

_Head of the Department for Aurors_

Lily felt her breath catch in her throat. "James, I-I don't know what to say," she whispered. He finally looked up at her and shook his head.

"It's not fair, Lily," he whispered in a hoarse voice, barely recognizable as his own. "They can't be gone. They just can't."

Still, Lily didn't know how to comfort him, what to say. She wanted so badly to make it all better, to just take away the pain, but she couldn't. There was no way to comfort him, no way to go back and change what had happened. Instead, she wrapped her arms protectively around him and sat with him, holding him, until she lost track of time.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to them. Stuff like this shouldn't be happening. Of course, Lily knew all about Voldemort, knew how much devastation he was causing, but it felt as though it was happening in another world, not hers. But now…poor James. It wasn't fair. Why had his parents been targeted? What had _they_ done?

---

"I heard his parents died."

"He doesn't look to good, does he?"

"Are they going out?"

Lily glared at the goggling group of Gryffindor girls (**AN:** like my alliteration? ;D) and led James out of the portrait hole and through the chilly corridors. She'd stayed up late with him last night, both holding each other and rocking gently, until Sirius had come up to the dormitory.

When Sirius found out the news, the boys clung to each other, not in the masculine slap on the shoulder hug, but desperately as though clinging onto each other would bring them closer to the two people they both loved and needed. It was the hug of two brothers and Lily, feeling awkward, left them alone.

"I'll go home tomorrow," James said once they were seated by the lake which was reflecting the steely grey sky. "For their…their funeral, and to sort out all the legal stuff." He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair and turned to her. "I'm sorry about the potion."

"It doesn't matter," Lily said, meaning it. "Honestly, I don't care."

"I want to kill him, Lily," James said quietly, lowering his eyes. "I've never wanted to kill anyone before. Not even Sirius and he's pretty good at getting me worked up."

"How is he? Sirius, I mean?"

James shrugged. "Angry. I think it's the only way he knows how to let his feelings out. He keeps everything bottled up and gets into these deep depressions which are always followed by fits of rage."

Lily rubbed his shoulder gently and he smiled at her, wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer. "I want them back," he admitted quietly. "I know it sounds stupid and obvious, but I've never wanted _anything_ this badly." He paused and looked at her in a way that made her stomach flip. "Well, that's not exactly true. I've wanted some things pretty badly."

Leaning forward, Lily pressed her lips gently against his, and even as she was doing it, she knew how inappropriate, how stupid it was. She drew away quickly, feeling the heat flood her face, but James muttered, "don't", and pulled her back against him then kissed her deeply, lovingly, sweetly, the way he'd always wanted to kiss her, the way she deserved to be kissed. Suddenly James realised that Lily hadn't been whispering into his ears, she'd been whispering comforting words straight into his heart. And her kisses…that wasn't his lips she kissed. No, it was his soul.

* * *

Right, first of all, if you want to know why Lord Voldy decided to kill the Potter parents, read my other story "**The Only One he Ever Loved**". It's not bad! Ok next chapter will hopefully be funny again and contain a ridiculous amuont of fluff. Comments, suggestions, and ideas are always greatly appreciated. flames, not so much, but if you feel it deserves a flame, be my guest. anyway...best be off. thanks everyone for reading! **PLEASE REVIEW!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN**: Ok well, i hope u like this chapter. It's pretty full of action and stuff. Erm, ok so maybe about 4 or 5 chapters left...Anyway, enjoy. Oh and this chapter is rated for language and (as usual) brief nudity :o)

* * *

Summer was upon the school, softly peeling back the petals on various buds and sending the grounds into a bloom of colours. Sweet smells wafted into the castle, carried on warm air through open windows until the students became giddy from the fumes, from the approaching summer and end of the school year. 

Lily however was not giddy. She was not even smiling. She was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, her nose buried in her Transfiguration book attempting to absorb the information by osmosis. Needless to say, it wasn't working. In fact everyone at her table seemed to be devouring their work hungrily with their eyes. Well everyone except James who was looking out the window and lazily stroking Lily's leg. It was nice, sure, but completely distracting.

"James!" Lily said in irritation for the fifth time.

"Oh come on, we need a break anyway. You've been working all morning."

Sighing, Lily let James pull her up. The rest of the table let out groans and sighs as well, but they stood and followed the unlikely couple out of the portrait hole and down onto the grounds. Sarah, Lily and Eleanor pulled off their shoes and sat on the edge of the lake, letting their feet fall into the cool water, and softly discussing all the things girls seem to discuss…in other words, the Gryffindor seventh year boys.

The objects of their discussion were sitting under the large willow tree, lounging on their backs under the clear blue sky.

"Well, what's up for tonight, then?" Sirius asked his friends, with a glance at Remus who looked paler than usual.

"I don't know," James muttered, not looking at Sirius. "Listen I, erm" he cleared his throat "I don't know if I'll be able to make it tonight."

Sirius sat up. "What?"

Rubbing his nose uncomfortably, James sat up as well. "It's just…exams are coming up, and there's so much to do…"

"That's shit, Potter," Sirius said angrily. "You don't want to come because it would take away time you have with your precious muggle girlfriend."

James reached angrily for his wand, but Remus quickly interjected, resting a hand firmly on James' arm. "Don't call her a muggle, Padfoot. If James doesn't want to come, he doesn't have to."

"We need him! He's the largest of us and he's backing out just because he wants to sit in the common room and cuddle!"

Both boys were red in the face now and even Remus' grip couldn't stop James from pulling out his wand and pointing it at his best friend.

"I always knew it," Sirius said softly, his dark eyes burning angrily. "I always knew she meant more to you than our friendship ever did."

Before James could react, Sirius got up and stormed off to the castle. Peter sat quivering in nervous excitement as he watched the two boys row. Now he looked between them, trying to figure out who he should support. With a nod from Remus, Peter hurried after Sirius and left the two boys alone under the tree.

"You can go too if you want, Remus," James said quietly.

"Don't be stupid, Prongs," he said but found he had nothing else to say and fell quiet.

"Is it so wrong for me to love another person?" James asked finally, breaking the silence. "Sirius thinks I should mope over my parents forever just like he's doing. He doesn't want me to feel happy or actually live because _they_ can't. And, I suppose, I didn't either to begin with. If I ever felt anything I hated myself because they couldn't. Because it was as if I was forgetting about them. But then I realised they wouldn't want me to sit around and sulk forever. Just because they're dead, it doesn't mean I am."

"So you do love her then?" Remus asked quietly.

James didn't answer him, just sat staring moodily out at the clear dark lake, beautiful green grounds and bright blue skies. His eyes fell onto Lily and he felt a warmth build up inside him until his toes began to tingle with it. "Yes," he finally replied. "Yes I do."

---

"Lily," someone whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. Blearily opening her eyes, Lily unstuck her face from the pages of her Potions book and sat up.

"Oh, I fell asleep," she muttered stupidly, looking at James coming into focus.

"Yes, I noticed," he said, grinning at her. "You want to go to bed?"

"No, no. I'm okay now," she rubbed her eyes and focused back on her Potions book.

"Come with me," James said, his hand stretched out to her.

"Why, where are we going?" Lily asked, pushing her chair back and taking his hand. Without a reply, he led her towards the boys staircase and through his dormitory to an open window.

"Climb out," he said softly, and she did as she was told. With a smile to herself, Lily noticed the blanket spread out on the cool roof tiles and a lamp sat on it. Looking out across the lake, she saw the moon, big and yellow hanging low in the sky. Smiling sadly to herself, Lily remembered once asking her father why the moon got so big and low sometimes. He'd mumbled back a drunken response, so Lily had made up her own reason for it. She told herself that every night the moon hung low in the sky was a night when magic happened. Of course, she was only six years old at the time and didn't yet know that magic happened constantly, but it was something she'd believed in.

"It's beautiful," she muttered and felt her eyes fill with tears. What was wrong with her? "Why aren't you out with the boys?" she asked to quickly change the subject. "It's the full moon…"

James just shrugged and sunk his hands into his pockets. "Didn't feel like it." He watched her for a moment then grinned. "You want to dance?"

"Now?" she asked. "There's no music."

He shrugged and took her hand. "Careful," he murmured, leading her away from the window and gently spinning her.

She laughed and let him lead her carefully across the roof tiles, lightly swaying as he hummed softly under his breath.

"James," she whispered as he drew her against him, letting their warm bodies press together in the chilly air. "I'm…"

"What?" he asked her gently, slipping a finger under her chin and forcing her to look at him.

"It's just…I don't know if we should…" her words were lost however in those deep hazel eyes, and she slowly leaned towards him, their noses gently brushing together, the heat of his breath warm on her cheek, their lips almost touching. Her words were lost in a place where words belonged, for they had no use here. The only thing that mattered was that they were together. That his lips were upon hers and she felt giddy, not with the sweet summer air, nor the beautiful full moon. It was his breath mingling with her own, the depth of the kiss that reached her soul and warmed her heart.

She pulled away and let him lead her back in through the window, closing the glass against the cold air. She let him sit her down on his bed, let him pull off her robes and kiss her eyelids. But she didn't let him make her feel loved in every possible way. No. He let her.

"This may hurt," he whispered, but she stroked his face gently and told him that life hurt but it was always worth it. He grinned and told her she thought too much, but he 'supposed' she was worth it. She laughed as he gently pushed himself into her and cried out as he let her feel something she had never let another person make her feel.

"Fuck," Lily murmured under her breath once she was safely nestled in James' arms. "Now I can understand why Sarah's addicted to this."

"Mm," James murmured, lazily stroking her back, his lips pressed against her hair. "Lils?"

"Yea?" She gazed up at him and quickly kissed his nose, loving that small dimple under the corner of his mouth.

He smiled. "I love you." She was saved from answering him, however, by the dormitory door banging open.

"James," panted a boy, clinging to the doorway.

"Get out!" James yelled, drawing the blankets up higher around Lily.

"It's Sirius!" Peter said hurriedly. "He told Snape about Remus. Snape's followed him to the Whomping Willow. You've got to hurry, James."

Swearing, James leapt out of the bed, tripping over as he pulled on clothes and grabbed his wand from the bedside table. "Lily, I-" he began to explain but she just shook her head.

"Go."

---

James felt as though he was flying through the hallways, his feet were moving so fast. Three floors ago he had left Peter behind, clutching his side and panting deeply, unable to keep up on his short stubby legs.

Not wearing his invisibility cloak, James was sure he'd be caught by a teacher, after all, he was out after hours and his footsteps were making a good deal of noise. But he wasn't sure if meeting a teacher would be such a bad thing. They could stop Snape and he could go back to the Gryffindor common room and spend the rest of the night with Lily. He made his feet go even faster, thinking about Lily. It was so unfair! Why was he always left cleaning up after Sirius' messes?

He burst through the huge oak doors and flew down the grassy slope towards the Whomping Willow, where a figure stood at a distance, watching the tree. But there was only one figure, and James would know that profile from anywhere. As James reached Sirius, he made sure to knock him hard as he ran past. His anger was starting to transform into fear, but there was no time for that. Dodging branches, James scurried to the opening in the roots, feeling a thump on the back of his head.

He ignored it and continued to push his way through the hole, transforming his body as he did so, so when he dropped down into the passage below, he was no longer human. Where his limbs had been, now rested four firmly built legs, and atop his head were two large antlers. Frantically searching the darkness ahead of him, he began to run again, his hooves pounding on the compact dirt below him. He rounded a corner and suddenly the passageway was light, lit up by a lamp that was clutched in the hands of a boy who seemed to be frozen with fear.

It was apparent at once what Snape was afraid of. A monster – a fully fledged werewolf – was making its way slowly, and horribly, towards them, snarling and snapping its jaws. Knowing what he had to, without even thinking, James lowered his antlered head and galloped at full speed towards the werewolf, knocking them both to the ground.

James rolled away, no longer a stag but human again, and groping in his robes for his wand. He found it, yelled at Snape to run and shot a jinx at the werewolf. "Impedimenta!" It would only slow him down for a second, James knew, but a second could determine whether they lived or died.

"Run!" James screamed again, pulling Snape hard by the robes so he dropped the lamp which smashed on the floor. A snarl behind them told him the spell was wearing off, but they were both running now. It wasn't fast enough. They'd be caught.

"Hold on to me! Whatever you do, hold on!" James called grabbing Snape's arm. Snape took hold of James' shoulder, his breath coming in deep wheezing gasps. Hoping that Snape's loose grip would be enough, James once again transformed into the stag. Snape's hand slackened its grip at the shock, but he seemed to regain composure quickly and caught on. While running, he slung a leg over James' broad back and bent his head low, letting James carry him towards the faint light at the end of the tunnel.

If he hadn't been so scared, so angry, James might have had room left in his body to feel some kind of disgust that Severus Snape was _riding_ him, like some common horse. But he didn't. They burst out of the hole into the cool night and James pushed Snape away from him then hit the knot on the tree and got to his feet.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you, Sirius?" James yelled into the night, where he knew Sirius was standing. Leaving Snape to snivel at the base of the tree, James marched towards the figure of Sirius he could now see, but his walk slowed when he saw Sirius was not alone. Albus Dumbledore stood beside him. He was not smiling. His eyes weren't twinkling. And James knew he was in more trouble than he'd ever been before in his life.

* * *

**AN**: ok well hope u enjoyed. I know my writing style got a bit confusing in the middle there but hope it all made sense. hehe. ok well PLEASE REVIEW! love to know what u think! and if u find any mistakes, just let me know. thanks! xxx 


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **Hello everyone! Thanks for my amazing reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Warning**: Rated for language.

* * *

Lily sat chewing anxiously on her thumbnail, gazing unblinkingly into the fire. She was worried to say the least. So worried in fact that she would rather be down on the grounds, fighting the werewolf with James then stuck up here wondering what was going on. She tried to calm herself down. After all, James went gallivanting off with this same werewolf every month and never received even a scratch, why should tonight be any different? Sighing, Lily tried to push the worrisome thoughts from her head and focused instead on the earlier part of that evening, when James had danced slowly with her in the glowing yellow moonlight, then taken her back inside… 

She felt her cheeks warm and a smile play on her lips as she remembered the way he'd looked at her. The way his eyes were so full of longing. He'd been so gentle too. It hadn't been rough and crazy, nor had it sent thousands of jolts of electricity running through her body. No, it was more than that. Something she couldn't describe, something to do with their souls and…and…love, perhaps.

Lily sighed and rubbed her head. She didn't want to go back into that endless debate with herself over whether or not she loved him. Whether or not her love had only began on account of his parents' death. If it was superficial love…love given to those who had none.

Yawning, Lily checked her watch. Ten past one, already. She was exhausted and couldn't wait up for him any longer. Just as she was considering going up to bed, the portrait hole slammed open and two boys hurried in. Sirius stormed across the room, heading straight for the boys' staircase, his head down and his face angry. James, if possible, looked even angrier.

"Sirius!" he yelled, but his friend just ignored him. Lily's movement caught his eye and he turned to her, letting Sirius run up the staircase and out of sight. "Hey," he said softly, his face changing and moving quickly to her. "You shouldn't have waited up."

"Too worked up to sleep," she said quietly, surveying his body under lowered lashes for any cuts or bruises.

"I'm fine," he whispered, noticing her subtle inspection. "Don't tell me you were worried about me?" he asked with a grin.

Lily shrugged and smiled. "Not really."

"How are you feeling?" asked James, kneeling down besides her chair and taking her hand in his.

"Fine," she said. "Bit sore if I move the wrong way, but otherwise, completely fine."

"No life-altering change?"

"Mm, not really. You?"

He just smiled and kissed her hand gently, then stood and leaning over her, kissed her lips.

"How's Remus? And Snape?" Lily asked, moving her legs so he could sit beside her.

"Snape is snivelling away back in his dormitory. Unhurt except for his ego. Remus…well, he might have a bit of a headache tomorrow, but he's fine, love, don't worry." James explained to her what had happened down in the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack. "I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I've only seen Remus get really angry once before, and it wasn't pretty. But he's going to be angry tomorrow."

"I don't blame him," Lily said. "It was a really stupid thing of Sirius to do. Does he ever think? What the –"

"I know," James said, quickly cutting her off. "But there's more to this than a stupid prank, Lily. Sirius is reckless, but not like this. Something's seriously wrong with him."

"He's an idiot," Lily muttered, angry at him for putting James' and Remus' lives in danger. She barely noticed James pull his hand away from hers.

"Leave it, Lily. Don't make me choose between the two of you."

---

"I just don't understand," James yelled at his friend, after Lily had left him with a frosty 'goodnight' and he had tramped miserably up to his dormitory. "Are you trying to ruin my life? This was supposed to be the best night of my life, and like usual, YOU GO AND FUCK THINGS UP!"

Sirius turned, one arm in his pyjama shirt and glared at James. "I don't need you telling me what to do."

"Well you obviously need someone! You do realise that Remus could have killed Snape, don't you! Do you have _any_ idea what that would have done to him? You're a crap friend Sirius…"

"Yea, that's right," Sirius said, taking a step forward and letting his shirt fall to the floor. His lips where white with anger. "Trust Sirius to do something like this. 'He's worthless shit just like the rest of his family.' That's what they all think. Everyone. Glad to see you've finally caught on." Sirius turned back to his bed, leaving James gritting his teeth angrily.

"Why did you do it?" James asked quietly. "And don't give me some shit about you hating Snivellus. That wasn't the reason and we both know it."

"Well as you seem so informed why don't _you_ tell me why I did it…"

James sighed and lowered the wand he had subconsciously raised. "Why? Because you had the misfortune of meeting my family, of becoming my brother, of…of having to go to their funeral and mourn them as if they were your own parents. And you're angry, because you can't show grief. You're pretty shit at showing love too, but I _know_ you loved them. And I'm sorry that you believe I don't miss them. Wake up and smell the fucking roses, Sirius; you're not the only one who's mourning them. They were _my parents_."

Sirius had turned from him and was leaning against the wooden frame of his four-poster bed. "Leave me alone," he muttered. James ignored him and took a few steps forward before resting his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"Fuck off," Sirius said, rolling his shoulder so James' hand slipped.

"I'm not going to give up on you, mate," James said quietly. "You're my brother. My best friend." He grabbed Sirius' shoulder again as the boy began to cry, deep sobs that racked his whole body. He let out the pain of everything that had happened: the stupid thing he'd done, the death of James' parents, his sister…it all caught up with him. The anger which had replaced grief for the past six years finally faded and he was left, pulling on the collar of James' shirt, his face buried in his shoulder, the need to absorb some shred of love from him. Something that made him believe his life wasn't worthless. That _he_ wasn't worthless.

James held his friend, trying to stop his own tears but soon found that impossible and let them flow too. There had been so much death, darkness and anger in his life lately. The thing he'd done with Lily…it had been beautiful and positive. It had been _good_, and he'd thought that by loving her enough, by sharing his love with her, making it something solid, real and physical, he would be healed. But that was stupid. The only thing that could completely erase heart-wrenching grief from his soul and mind was time. Love just speeded the whole process up.

"Why was this supposed to be the best night of your life?" Sirius asked, wiping his face and sitting down on his four-poster.

James just shrugged and pulled off his t-shirt. "Where's Wormtail?"

---

"Lily, my pearl!"

"Bugger off," Lily said, raising her Transfiguration book higher to block out the view of James.

"Ouch." He gazed at her for a moment then sighed a long dramatic sigh. "_Never knew I could feel like this_," he began in a lengthy, warbling tone. "_Like I've never seen the sky before, Want to vanish inside your kiss, Everyday I love you more and more!_"

"James, shut up!" Lily hissed, glancing around the common room at all the giggling students. "Is your sole purpose in life to embarrass me in every way possible?"

"No," James said grinning, "It's to…_LOVE YOU UNTIL MY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-YIIIIIIIIIING DAAAAAAY!_"

"I'm sorry, are you drunk?"

Laughing, James shook his head and held a hand out to Lily. "Don't make me start singing again," he threatened.

"God, you're like the Energizer bunny on Prozac."

James settled for a politely puzzled look, his hand still stretched out towards her. Rolling her eyes, Lily took his hand and was led through the portrait hole and out of the common room.

"What happened to your hand?" asked Lily, inspecting the grazed and bruised knuckles of James' right hand.

"Nothing."

"If you _had_ to decide," began Lily, dropping his hand and skipping ahead of James then turning to face him. "Between me and Sirius, that is, who would you pick?"

"_Lily_," James groaned warningly, hurrying to walk besides her again but she just grinned and walked backwards, skipping away from him.

"Me or Quidditch?"

"Quidditch. Hands down," laughed James, now running to keep up with her.

"Me or punching the snot out of Snape?" Lily asked. She'd stopped laughing and let James catch up with her. Looking sulky, James rolled his eyes.

"Do I have to choose?"

"Yes."

"You."

"Good," Lily said, inspecting James' hand again. The burns on it from grabbing the hot cauldron had healed and left shiny scars on his palm. Gently, she kissed his knuckles. "All better?"

"No," he replied. "Do it again."

She obliged, and he took her chin in his fingers, drawing her face up to his and kissing her gently.

"Oh for goodness sake!"

James and Lily both jumped and turned guiltily towards Professor McGonagall who was frowning at them.

"Five points each from Gryffindor. There will be no… _canoodling_ in the school corridors!"

The two Gryffindors, nodded meekly and hurried off, leaving Professor McGonagall standing alone in the hallway. She smiled as she heard the pair laughing out of sight around the corner.

"About time," she chuckled to herself.

* * *

Thought James singing to Lily was kind of romantic in an embarassing way. My boyfriend singing that 'let's do it like they do on the discovery channel' song, at the top of his voice between classes...not so romantic. Umm...ok so i only have a few chaps left i think. OK, so the next chap should be funny! Sorry this one wasnt...just needed to clean up a bit. hope you enjoyed. **Please review and thanks for reading! **xxx 


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: **Thanks to all who read and review this story. ya make my day! oh and thanku for the sympathies on my loser-boyfriend. haha. nah he's ok. anyway hope u enjoy the chapter. it's long-ish, so get reading:D enjoy!

* * *

"Tell me all about it," Sarah said, her dark eyes wide with interest.

"Every detail," added Eleanor, her large blue eyes reflecting the flickering candle-light.

"You are _so_ lucky," moaned Jessica, digging her finger into a jar of peanut butter then passing it to Lily. The girls were sitting on Lily's bed on the last day of school. It was late, and they were keeping up with tradition by watching the clock slowly approach midnight and the freedom of summer holidays.

"It's ironic though," said Sarah thoughtfully, crunching on a piece of celery the other three had disregarded. "The only girl in the school who didn't want him ended up getting him."

"And ended up becoming one of the most hated girls in school," Lily said, talking around her peanut-butter coated finger which she was sucking on.

"Details!" cried Eleanor. "I need DETAILS!"

"What do you want to know?" Lily asked, feeling herself blush at the memory of James' warm body moving above her.

"Ooo look she's blushing!"

"Did it hurt?"

"How long did it last?"

"It sounds so messy. Was there loads of blood?" That was Eleanor, her innocent eyes wide with apprehension.

Chucking a pillow at her, Lily leaned back against her headrest and shrugged. "It was…okay."

"Okay?" the three girls repeated, all eyes fixed on Lily.

"No, that makes it sound bad. It wasn't. I mean, it was incredible to feel that close to someone, and it felt completely natural. And he was really careful and gentle and sweet."

Sarah made a loud retching noise, which Lily ignored.

"It wasn't how I thought it would be though. No fireworks went off in my head. It wasn't about our bodies, it was about…us." Lily had been speaking in a very quiet voice looking down at her legs, but she looked up at the girls and grinned. "It was way better than I thought it would be."

---

"Well?" Sirius asked James, carefully passing him the joint he had just rolled.

"Well what?"

"What was she like?" Sirius asked, unattractively blowing a cloud of smoke from his mouth.

"None of your business," James said grinning at his best friend and passing the drugs on without taking a drag. Only the day before he'd rowed with Lily about his "filthy habit" as she'd called it.

"It's just for fun, Lily. It's not heavy stuff!" he'd said to her, trying to calm her down.

"I've heard that before! It was 'just for fun' for my dad too, but then he slowly got hooked on stronger stuff and one day I came home from school to find him lying on the couch, not breathing. He'd overdosed and almost died. So don't tell me it's 'just for fun', James. Drugs are serious no matter what they are." She'd glared at him, her green eyes flashing and her face pink. He'd apologised and promised to stop then spent the rest of the day trying to make her laugh.

Their arguments seemed to be a major part of the relationship they had. Well, _he_ considered it a relationship anyway. He'd given up trying to figure out what Lily thought. It was too much like trying to read a novel with every other page ripped out. Some days she liked him, some days she was distant. It was frustrating to say the least, but he didn't want to ask her about it. Not after their last argument, anyway.

"You can't just go running off into the countryside, James, hoping to kill the evillest wizard of all time, without even the slightest idea of how you'll do it. You're seventeen!" Lily had yelled, after he'd told her his plans of tracking down Voldemort.

"And I'm not going to just lie down and take it, Lily. What do you expect me to do? Hide under the bed for the rest of my life? That's not the kind of man you want, and that's not the person I want to be. I'm not a coward!" James had yelled, turning away from her.

"I don't want a _dead_ boyfriend either," Lily yelled back, grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to look at her.

"I'm not going to be a coward, Lily!"

"You're so selfish!" she'd spat at him, taking a step forward and poking him in the chest for emphasis.

"I'm selfish?" he retorted, his eyebrows raised. "Hark whose talking! This coming from the girl who doesn't want me to avenge my parents because _she_ can't stand being alone."

Lily gasped in anger and shock. "Oh, try sounding more like an arrogant, stuck-up prick why don't you!"

"I'm doing this, Lils. You can yell and scream at me all you want, but I'm going to do this. Either you stick beside me or you don't but I'm going."

"So if it came down to a choice, me or Voldemort, you'd choose him?"

"Fuck choices! Why are you always asking me to choose!" James had sighed when her eyes welled up with tears and shook his head. "I'd choose nothing over you, Lily, you know that. But the Lily I know, would stand by my side and support me, not berate me for doing something I believed in."

Stony silence had finished that row, both upset and angry with the other. They'd yet to make up from that one, and the only conversation they'd had was when Lily coolly asked James to pass the pepper at dinner.

"Took your time telling us about it," Remus muttered, flicking the glowing butt off of the roof and glancing at his watch. Almost midnight.

"Yeah, well, we had other things to think about," James muttered. They'd unanimously agreed not do discuss Sirius' dangerous prank ever again, and James didn't want to bring it up. Dumbledore's anger that night had been terrible. James had never seen him like that. Detention each night for a month had been Sirius' punishment in the end. James, however, had earned a pat on the back and a sermon on bravery from Professor McGonagall, but even still it was a memory he wanted to forget about.

"She's not even talking to me at the moment," James said. "I thought when we got together, that would be it. We'd be a couple."

"She'll come round," Sirius said, clapping his friend on the shoulder and standing. "Wait for it," he muttered, watching his watch closely as the second hand ticked closer and closer to the twelve. "And…it's now officially summer!"

James let out a whoop. "One year left!" he yelled across the dark grounds.

---

James' trunk was packed, owl safely stowed in her cage, and broomstick laid with the utmost care across his made bed.

"Goodbye, my dear dormitory. I will miss you once I am gone. But fear not…I will return for you." Sirius was standing on a small table in the middle of the room, professing his undying love for the bare walls. Grinning, Remus pushed him off the table and he went sprawling on the floor.

"Shut up, Padfoot," he said taking care to step on his friend as he crossed to his bed.

"Shall we go and accompany the girls to the carriages?" James asked, sparing one last glance in the dirty mirror and carefully mussing his hair.

"Yes, let's," replied Sirius, picking himself up in a dignified manner and with one last flourish of his hand, bowed himself out of the room.

"He's weird," Remus muttered, following his friend.

---

"Anything off the trolley, dears?"

"You got any good-looking blokes in there?" Sarah asked the friendly witch with the food trolley. It was there standard joke and always made her grin.

"Five pumpkin pasties, please," Lily asked politely, handing the witch three sickles in return for the pasties. Taking the food, Lily left the compartment and wandered down the train, waving to people as she walked. At last she found them, lounging in their own compartment and laughing.

"I come baring food," Lily said, sliding open the door and waving the pasties temptingly.

"Ah then please do enter, good lady," James said, pushing Peter off of the seat so she could sit. Chucking each boy a pasty, she sat and let herself relax into James' arm which he had crooked around her neck.

"Well, I must say, Lily, you have achieved the impossible. James is a changed man," Remus said, smiling at her. "He has almost removed his head from his arse and it is now half the size it was at the beginning of the year."

"What, his head or his arse?" Lily asked crudely, earning a rare grin in her direction from Sirius.

"Enough room for us?" asked Sarah, sticking her head through the compartment door.

"Always enough room for two pretty girls such as yourselves," Sirius said. Of course, there wasn't enough room so Sirius made Peter go and sit outside. Hours of laughter and joking ensued until the train began to slow and the blur of houses outside the window became individual buildings.

"Well," Sarah said, rising from her seat and pulling Eleanor with her. "We'd better go and get our trunks."

"We'll help," Remus said, and he and Sirius hurried to follow them from the compartment, leaving Lily and James alone.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Lily said quietly, kneading James' palm gently with her fingers. "It's just…well I worry about you."

"Shh," James whispered, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to apologise."

"I wish you could come and visit me this summer. It's going to be hell, with my drunk dad, weight-obsessed mum and a sister who hasn't spoken to me in six years."

"I'll be thinking of you," he said. "I wish I could come and see you too, but I won't have time. I've got to sell the house in the South of France and then go down to Sydney and sell the apartment we have there."

Lily looked up into his face and grinned. If he'd said that six months ago she would have made a sarcastic remark about his wealth and arrogance. But, she reasoned, he had money. Why pretend he didn't?

Looking out of the window, Lily saw the platform outside through sheets of rain. Getting to her feet, she slung her bag over her head and across her shoulders. Holding a hand out to James, they left the train and crossed through the barrier to the muggle world. She spotted her mum standing near the ticket office, patting her hair and craning her neck through the crowds in search of Lily.

"I'm going to miss you," Lily said, shaking the rain off of her cloak and letting James pull her into a tight embrace. In reply, James kissed her passionately, not caring who was watching. He finally let her go and she smiled at him. "I guess I'll see you in September."

"Lily," James breathed. His eyes were eager and anxious. "Lily, I need to know."

She didn't have to ask him what he needed to know. Looking down at her feet, Lily smiled sadly to herself. This was it. Everything depended on her next words. Her sixth year was over, the bet was over. And still she didn't know what the outcome was.

Gently, James pulled her to him and she fell into his arms yet again. With a finger, he brushed a piece of wet hair off her face then snaked his fingers under her ear to massage the back of her neck.

"You're crying," he noted as her eyes welled with unshed tears.

"I need to go."

James shook his head. "I need an answer first."

"I…" she gulped and seemed to rack her brains. How did she know whether she loved him or not? She'd thought she loved him, but…how could you tell? And the fact that she was questioning it…that must mean she didn't. But she felt as though maybe she did. Or at least, she could…she _would_ one day.

James sighed and took a step backwards, his eyes falling closed. "Right," he breathed.

"No, James listen. It's not that I don't…_feel_ for you, I do! I like you a lot -"

"But you don't love me," he interrupted. "It's ok. I was arrogant to think I could ever get a girl like you."

"You do," Lily whispered, tears streaming down her already wet face. "You _do_ have me. I just don't know if I _love_ you."

"If you're not sure after seven months, it means you don't. It's ok. I'll keep up my end of the deal." He leaned forwards and kissed her tear-streaked cheek as she racked her brains, trying to remember what his end of the deal was. "And just for the record," he whispered. "At the beginning of the year, when I told you I wasn't in love with you – I lied."

Pressing a hand to her mouth, Lily's tears fell faster as she watched him smile sadly and walk away. "James," she said quietly, through her tears, but he didn't hear, just continued walking.

Her arrogance had split them apart, not his. It was pride: she had too much pride to admit he was right and he had too much pride to let her tell him things he wanted to hear. Arrogance. They both had it, more so than either knew.

**THE END**

(nah just kidding)

* * *

Yea ok so this isn't the end. How upsetting would that be?? hehe. anyway, please review!! love to know what everyone thinks! okeydokey. thanks for reading! xxx 


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: **Wow, I can't believe it's taken me a month to update this!! I have had the worse case of writer's block. I've seriously rewritten this chapter like 10 times, and i'm still not happy with it. Argh, well hopefully the next chapter will be better. I've started it and it's pretty funny. Back to good old James and his taunting ways. Anyway, hope this isn't too bad and i promise i'll update sooner:

* * *

Platform nine and three quarters was packed with students and parents alike, teeming around the scarlet Hogwarts Express, which sat puffing noisily, a comfortingly familiar sight to Lily who had been waiting anxiously for this day ever since summer began. The holidays had been long and dull, despite her seventeenth birthday and coming of age in the wizarding world. If she was to be honest with herself, seventeen had felt absolutely no different to sixteen. 

She almost wished there had been some sort of profound change to make her birthday halfway worthwhile. Petunia had blatantly refused to acknowledge her twin, her father had toasted the girls with a bottle of brandy at 9 o'clock that morning and Lily's mum had baked a fat-free all natural carrot and pumpkin cake, claiming that rolls of fat on a girl were anything but attractive. Now, that was of course completely unfair as Lily did not _have_ rolls of fat. She didn't seem to even have a bum anymore after that crazy 800-calories-a-day diet her mother had put her on. She quite missed her bum too…maybe that was the only profound change all summer. At 16 she had a bum and at 17 she didn't.

All in all, her summer had been anything but exciting. She'd finished all her homework in the first week of school in order to put off the inevitable: writing a letter to James. She'd finally managed it, and after 23 and a half attempts, she'd sent the letter off with Hamilton, her faithful Sooty owl. In reply she'd received a postcard from France with two hastily scrawled lines from James. He'd also signed it 'James'. Now of course, to any normal person this would not be a big deal. But Lily had the tendency to thoroughly overanalyse everything and consequently came to the conclusion that James felt absolutely nothing for her. He wasn't angry, no, if he was angry he would have written "from, James", just to make a point of not including the l-word. He obviously hadn't forgiven her as he would have written "love, James", and his sense of humour had yet to return as he hadn't written "deeply liked (but not quite loved), James" either.

So after six weeks of desperate waiting, Lily was once again, and for the last time, standing on the grey train platform ready to embark on her seventh and final year at school…and ready to endure people gawking at her now bum-less frame. Seriously, who goes on a diet and loses just their backside?

"Lily!"

Turning, Lily noticed her two friends, Sarah and Eleanor, running along the platform towards her. Sarah was darker than ever, tanned from the long summer days spent on Italian beaches, and Eleanor looked as shiny and bright-eyed as normal, having innocently spent her summer with her family in Scotland.

"Look at you!" Eleanor cooed, gripping her friend in a tight hug. "Head girl badge nice and shiny, I see!"

"Good lord, girl, what did your mother do to you?" Sarah asked, eyeing Lily with a raised brow. "You need feeding."

"Tell me about it," Lily said, grinning at her two friends. "How were your summers?"

"Long and boring," Eleanor replied, helping Lily lift her trunk onto the train. "After twenty games of hide and seek, I was ready to hex my cousins into the next century."

"Sounds better than my cousins," said Sarah once they'd found an empty compartment and sat down. "All they wanted to do was have sex with me."

"You didn't let them?"

"Of course not! Well, not all of them, anyway."

"Sarah! That's disgusting!" Lily exclaimed, shooting her friend a revolted look.

"What? They're all like five times removed, and come on, they're Italian: they're _hot_!"

"What about Sirius?" Eleanor asked.

"What _about_ Sirius?" Lily asked questioningly, not missing the threatening look Sarah had just shot her naïve friend.

"Sarah's been writing to him all summer," Eleanor explained, completely oblivious to her friend now kicking her hard in the shins.

Lily frowned. Why hadn't Sarah told her about this? Ok, so Lily didn't like Sirius that much, but he made a good couple with Sarah: they were both so hot-headed and domineering that they kept each other in check. Although she'd always denied it, Sarah had been having an on and off "thing" with Sirius for years, ever since third-year practically, and the flimsy façade that they hated each other didn't fool a single one of their friends.

And if Sarah had been writing to Sirius all summer…well Sirius had been with _James_ all summer. Maybe that was why Sarah hadn't told Lily about her letter-writing. Maybe she knew something…or was she just being paranoid? James could do as he pleased anyway, it wasn't any of her business really.

"Haven't you got to go and talk with the prefects or something?" Sarah asked, breaking Lily out of her reverie.

"Say hi to Remus for me," Eleanor said, as Lily got to her feet.

"You reckon he got head boy?" Sarah asked, cleaning underneath her fingernails with an ornately feathered quill.

"Probably," Lily said, sliding open the compartment door. "I'll see you two later. Save some food for me."

Leaving her two friends behind, Lily picked her way through students down the train towards the prefect carriage. She hoped Remus had been made head-boy, except she wasn't sure he would be – with his wolf-like tendencies and once a month absences, head-boy duties would be hard to keep up with.

The compartment was filled with prefects when she arrived – most of whom she recognized, but a few she did not. Remus wasn't there yet and so she was left listening to a fifth year Hufflepuff boy give a long and boring description of his summer holiday in more detail than Lily thought was necessary. Just as he began to describe his discovery of a family of flobberworms in his back garden, the compartment door clicked open and Lily turned around in relief. Remus walked in, grinning broadly at her, and following closely behind was James, wearing a shiny silver head boy badge.

Lily almost passed out with shock. Remus was still wearing his Prefect badge, and _James Potter_, the James who in third year had charmed her Transfiguration book to show only the pages divisible by three the day before a test, who had carefully removed all the nails from the head table only an hour before the Halloween feast in fourth year, and who had, only the year before, almost killed himself fighting a werewolf, was now head boy. No one in their _right mind_ would choose James as head boy. Yet here he was, embarrassedly gazing around the compartment and avoiding Lily's eyes.

"Lily! How was your summer?" Remus asked, kissing her cheek and gazing down at her. He'd grown a fair amount over the summer and days in the sun had lightened his already fair hair. Despite this, he looked tired and faintly ill, a sign that the full moon was approaching.

"I'm good, you look great. How was your holiday?" Lily determinedly looked into Remus' face, not allowing her eyes to drift onto James. She wasn't sure what would happen if their eyes met, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

"We'd better make this quick," Remus said. "We had to leave Peter alone with Sirius, and I'm a bit worried about what we'll find when we get back."

Lily grinned. James coughed and she finally turned to face him. He hadn't changed much over the summer: his hair was a tad longer and his chin was shadowed in short stubble.

"Hi," Lily said quietly, attempting to calm herself down. She was doing pretty well too, she thought. Except that her face was roughly the same color as her hair and annoyance began to fizz gently under her skin as she remembered the only communication he'd had with her all summer: the one pathetic postcard, signed just 'James'.

"Hey," he replied, rubbing his nose uncomfortably and staring at her chest. She was about to snap rudely at him, when she realised he was in fact looking at her new Head Girl badge, not her breasts.

"Well, this is nice and awkward," Remus said and sat primly down on one of the seats, grinning wolfishly from one friend to the other.

"Alright, hello everybody. Welcome back, I hope you all had nice summers." Noticing the fifth year Hufflepuff boy open his mouth to speak, Lily quickly hurried on. "Congratulations to all of you new prefects, and welcome back to all of you returning. For those who don't know me, my name's Lily Potter and this -" She froze. The loudest silence she had ever heard in her full seventeen years and three weeks of living filled the cramped compartment. Shit. Double shit. It was just a slip of the tongue, that's all, she reasoned with herself. No big deal. She was rushing and nervous and had accidentally combined their names. Calm down, she told herself.

She didn't calm down. In fact, she seemed to be doing anything but calming down.

"So you got hitched over the summer, huh?" sneered a small Slytherin boy, his eyes glinting maliciously at her before she could even open her mouth.

"Yeah, that's right," James said speaking for the first time. "After she got pregnant, we thought it was the right thing to do."

"James!" Lily yelled, turning to him and glaring, her face still brick red.

He grinned and slung an arm around her shoulders. "Oh don't deny it, love, they'll find out eventually."

"No, James," she began but she was too flustered to put together a coherent sentence.

"Alright, everyone," James said, ignoring Lily and keeping his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders. "You all know what your prefect duties are; instructions were sent to you in those letters over the summer. Today, I want everyone to occasionally patrol the train and keep an eye out for trouble. If you have any questions during the course of the year, me and my wife here," he gave Lily's shoulder a little squeeze and hurried on before she could retort, "we're always here to talk to."

After all the prefects left the carriage, Lily managed to find her voice. Ripping out of James' grip she turned and hit him hard on the chest. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you, Potter?"

He just smiled winningly and ran a hand through his already-dishevelled hair. "Lighten up Lily-kins, it was just a joke."

"Well, it wasn't funny! You are such an arse, Potter! You don't even have the decency to write all summer, then as soon as we're back you act as though nothing's even happened between us, and -"

He cut her off sharply by pulling her towards him and covering her mouth with his own. But she was not to be distracted.

"Mmph, no! James, you can't just kiss me and make this all better," she said as she pushed him away. She wasn't yelling anymore but James blushed angrily all the same.

"I don't see why _you're_ so angry. We were together, then _you_ told _me_ you didn't feel anything for me, and so I kept up my end of the deal," James began, cocking his head to one side and raising an eyebrow at her.

Lily just scowled. She'd finally remembered what his end of the deal had been during her dull and lonesome days spent pent up in her bedroom. At the beginning of the last school year, they'd made a deal: if Lily didn't love James come July, he would leave her alone. And true to his word, he'd kept up his end of the deal…until now. Glaring at him, Lily turned and slid open the compartment door. She left without so much as a backward glance.

"Lily, come on, wait!" James called after her, dodging his way down the crowded corridor, colliding with students and tripping over bags. She didn't wait for him though. Instead, she made her way back to her own compartment, only to find that some other seventh year students had arrived while she'd been gone. Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin now filled the empty seats, laughing and joking with the two girls.

Scowling and grunting in a most unladylike manner, Lily let herself in, making sure to close the door on James' now outstretched hand.

"Ooww! Lily wait, stop being so touchy. You're totally over-reacting!"

"Wow," Sirius drawled from his seat next to Sarah. "If she's like this now, Prongs, imagine what she'll be like when you tell her about that girl you hooked up with in Sydney."

* * *

Ok, well everyone always complains about my cliffies so i thought i'd keep with tradition and put in another one. hope you enjoyed. sorry if u didnt, i wasn't fussed on this chapter either. anyway, will update soon! thanks for reading and please review!! xxx 


	17. Chapter 17

**AN**: Nope, you're not dreaming. I am actually updating...again! Yes well after all of my lovely reviews begging for an update i thought to myself, i thought, heck why not. So here we are. This chap is funny-ish. Well, i attempted funny and this is the outcome. Hope you enjoy:

* * *

Lily gazed sulkily into her mug of strong black coffee, subconsciously grinding her teeth together. She was so preoccupied she'd accidentally sprinkled sugar all over her toast and dropped a lump of butter into her coffee, and spent the last minute attempting to fish it all out, with very little success. 

"Want some jam to go with your coffee?"

Lily rolled her eyes, silently wishing that James would spontaneously combust. Then she decided that actually, she'd rather he didn't spontaneously combust, because then she'd have butter _and_ bits of James in her coffee and that would just be disgusting.

"Oh, don't be angry with me Lily-flower," James sighed, plonking down next to her and grinning at the side of her face. "It was just a simple misunderstanding. And besides, she wasn't nearly as pretty as you."

"Go away, James."

"You're angry with me."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"_No_ I'm not!"

"You are!"

Lily spun round to face him. "James! I'm not doing this!"

"Look, you have a massive crease between your eyebrows. That means you're angry."

"Not everything is about you, Potter," Lily said turning back to her mug and frowning harder. "For your information, I'm angry because I've already had half the student population come up to me this morning asking about my baby and if it was _really_ yours, _and_ I dropped butter in my coffee and, it...won't...come...out!" She chased the lump of quickly melting butter around the cup with her spoon then gave up with a sigh of frustration.

"Umm, well you could get some more coffee," James said helpfully, offering her the jug.

Lily burst into tears. "No," she sobbed. "I already poured th – this one, and I've got sugar all over my toast and – and I'm hungry and I can't – I don't want to – it's just…" she was now sobbing so hard the rest of her words became incoherent. James scratched his head and patted her back awkwardly.

"This is about the butter, is it?"

Lily shook her head and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I don't _really_ want you to spontaneously combust," she said tearfully.

"Thank you," James said gravely, nodding his head. He then brightened and whipped a piece of parchment out of his pocket. "I wrote you a poem last night. Do you want to hear it?"

Lily shrugged tearfully and James leapt to his feet, clearing his throat loudly so many students looked up from their breakfasts. "This is a poem dedicated to my one true love," he cleared his throat again, then began,

"I once knew this girl named Lily,

she thought I was rather silly,

I asked her out

Without a doubt

That soon she would see my willy!"

"James!" Lily cried in mortification, her face flushing in embarrassment as the entire Great Hall roared with laughter.

"Very romantic," said Remus, who had just sauntered over, looking sleepy and dishevelled. "Took him at least two hours to write that last night. I was ready to kill him. Especially as he kept asking me for a good word to describe you that rhymed with leather sex swing."

Lily opened her mouth to protest in outrage but Remus just raised his hands in front of him.

"No, I don't even want to know."

"Want some coffee?" James offered, passing Remus Lily's mug. With a thanks, he took a sip and immediately gagged.

James grinned in a self-satisfied manner at Lily. She was reminded of a small child who was rather proud of himself. "I added marmite!" he said excitedly with a grin. Lily attempted to ignore his dimple but she couldn't. It was as if it was _glowing_ or something. She actually couldn't see anything else but his stupid dimple. That was until Remus wiped his tongue clean on James' robes and his dimple disappeared as quickly as his smug smile.

"You just _licked_ me!" James cried in disgust. "Yuck!"

"Lucky, he never licks _me_," Sirius drawled, sitting down across from Lily and wiping his sleepy eyes.

"Ugh, I'm going to catch lycanthropy," James moaned, attempting to wipe the saliva from his new school robes with a piece of dry toast.

"You can't 'catch lycanthropy' from an un-transformed werewolf licking you," Remus said, although he was rather hard to understand due to the fact that his tongue was still hanging out of his mouth.

Lily rose to her feet and swung her bag over her shoulder. "I'll see you later," she muttered to no one in particular and hurriedly made her way out of the Great Hall.

This was getting completely ridiculous. How did James manage to act like a total prat yet still make her stomach twist in that wierd feeling of longing? She had to sort out her feelings, point form, alphabetical order.

'Reasons not to be with James', she titled the metaphorical list inside her head:

1. He had just proved his tendency to behave like a five year old child.

2. He was determined to embarrass/annoy/tease her at every possible chance he got.

3. He was friends with morons.

4. _He_ was a moron.

5. He'd hooked up with a girl in Sydney and ignored her all summer.

Yes, that was the big problem right there. Of course, Lily wasn't sure what Sirius had meant by "hooked up". Had he kissed her? Slept with her? _Loved_ her? Well, she could always ask him, but that would mean she cared, and he didn't deserve that. And if it had been his end of the deal to leave her alone, why had he stopped now? There were too many questions. A part of her was screaming at Lily to just follow her heart. For once in her life, ignore all those stupid thoughts and doubts rushing around her head and just do what her heart was telling her.

Turning to face the Great Hall, Lily raised her chin and strode back the way she came, ready to ignore her common sense and kiss James so thoroughly he'd have no idea what hit him. That was of course until she saw him too scraping marmite-flavored coffee off of his own tongue. Apparently he'd decided to try her coffee too. Hmm. Maybe she'd better listen to her head a little while longer.

(**AN: **notes: Marmite - It's a yeast extract. English form of Vegemite. It's a spread for toast and sandwiches and the like. Very salty and definatley an acquired taste. Lycanthropy - In folklore, the magical ability to assume the form and characteristics of a wolf. (definition from dictionay .com ) )

* * *

**IMPORTANT(ISH):** Thanks for reading and please now if you all will take your mouse in your right hand (or left if you happen to be a lefty) and just carefully move it down to that little blue box that says "go". click on it. type a few nice words, then click submit review. hehe. no, but seriously i love reviews, so please review and tell me wat u think. was in a bit or a wierd mood when i wrote this so yea. and my god, it took me like an hour to think up that lymerick. haha. hope you enjoyed!! xxx 


	18. Chapter 18

**AN:** hello everyone! Ok, so quickly, there aren't going to be many chapters left to this story, I've almost finished now. It think it's turned out ok, since it was going to be just a one-shot. glad i continued. Also, I couldn't believe how many reviews I got last chapter!!!!! You're all amazing, and i was so happy; thanks so much!! Hope you like this chapter. it gets a bit fluffy, but hey, we all love fluff. Enjoy:

* * *

"Wait," Lily said, her homework laying forgotten on the table. "I thought Sirius spent the summer with _James_." 

"Well, he did. For two weeks anyway, when they were in France and Australia," Sarah said then frowned. "Have you not spoken to James since the summer began?"

Lily blushed and chewed on the end of her quill. She, Sarah and Eleanor were sitting in the library on the evening of their first day back at school. Already their homework load was enormous, and it didn't help that Lily's thoughts had been distracted all day.

"So, if James only spent two weeks selling his parents' houses, where was he for the rest of the summer?" Lily mused out loud.

"At home?" Eleanor suggested helpfully. She'd already given up on her homework and was inspecting her long blonde hair for stray split ends.

"Then why wouldn't Sirius be with him?" Lily asked no one in particular, frustrated already by the little actual conversation she'd had with James since their return to school. She hadn't spoken to him since his crazy antics at breakfast that morning and was annoyed at him for his lack of explanation as to why he had so rudely ignored her all summer.

"Lils," Sarah said softly, and quite uncharacteristically. "You need to talk to James. Sit down with him and _talk_. About everything. You want him don't you?"

Lily squirmed in her seat and shrugged. "I suppose so."

Sarah just rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted as a group of boys wandered over.

"Good evening, ladies," Sirius said, drawing up a chair and sitting backwards on it, his chin resting on the seat back. "Not doing homework, I hope?"

"Yes, actually," Lily said, just as Sarah said, "No."

"Good good," Sirius said as James, Remus and Peter all sat down at the table.

"How were your summers?" Remus asked the girls.

"Amazing," Sarah said with a grin as she swished her long dark her over her shoulder. "I spent it with my family in Italy."

"Make any new friends?" Sirius innocently asked, but Lily noticed him share a subtle smirk with James before turning his attention back to Sarah, who it seemed had also noticed the look, as she raised a thin eyebrow.

"Not unless you count a stray dog we found wandering around our villa, no."

"A stray dog?" Sirius asked, tipping his chair forward and giving her an intrigued look. "Oh do tell me more."

Sarah's eyes flicked from Sirius to James and back again. Lily too glanced at James and saw he was attempting to cover a grin with his hand. What was going on?

"How was your summer, Peter?" Lily asked. He looked shocked at actually being spoken to and stuttered over his words.

"Oh…it, it was g-good. You know. Bit, bit boring."

Lily's diversion tactic hadn't worked, however. Sarah was still glaring suspiciously at Sirius who was smirking at his knees.

"Well, I'm off to bed," Lily said, shoving her belongings back into her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Good night," James said, standing as well and kissing her cheek quickly. She just smiled awkwardly, waved to the table and left, cursing her cowardice. All she had to do was ask James for a private word. He'd give it to her, she knew he would…or would he? Maybe he didn't love her anymore. After all, Sirius said he'd hooked up with a girl in Sydney. But if he'd only been there for a week…well where else had he spent his holiday?

Lily shook her head to clear it then realised she wasn't walking alone. Remus had joined her and they left the library together in silence, walking through the chilly stone corridors.

"Giant squid," Remus told the fat lady, and the portrait hole swung open for them.

"You've been awfully quiet all day," Remus said, sitting down in an armchair by the fire.

"Mm. I don't know why. I'm glad to be back," she said, dropping her bag and flopping down on the sofa. "I can't believe it's our last year here though. I still don't know what I want to do after I finish school."

"I don't know what I'll be _able_ to do. Who'll want to hire _me_?"

Lily raised her eyebrows at his uncharacteristically pessimistic thoughts and he smiled.

"Sorry, I shouldn't moan."

"You have every right to moan." She grinned. "I moan an awful lot more than you do and my life is considerably easier."

"Oh I don't know," he laughed. "At least I don't have James mooning over me twenty four seven."

The smile slipped from Lily's face and she chewed distractedly on a hangnail. "Not any more I don't. He's over me, isn't he?"

Remus shook his head sadly. "No, Lily. I doubt he could ever get over you. It's just…well, you need to talk to him."

"Mm, that's what everyone keeps saying." Lily glanced around the near empty common room and sighed, but her next words were interrupted by the portrait hole slamming open and Sarah scuttling through, followed by Sirius who was laughing.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" she shrieked at him. "What do you _mean_ you're an illegal animagus? I let you SLEEP ON MY BED! You are _such_ a PERVERT!"

---

"Good Evening, James."

"Oh," James jumped and turned to face the voice. "Professor, I didn't see you."

Professor Dumbledore just smiled and walked alongside James as he patrolled the corridors.

"I must say, I was a bit surprised when I got my Head Boy badge in the mail, sir," James said.

Professor Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, after I passed out the smelling salts to various teachers, I think they too saw it was the right idea."

"It's funny, I thought I'd be the last one chosen for the job. I mean, Remus Lupin has the words 'Head Boy' _tattooed_ across him."

"Well, if I knew about the tattoo…" Dumbledore joked. "In all seriousness, you have no idea how proud I was of you, that night you saved Severus Snape's life."

James shook his head. "I don't know. If it had happened a month or two earlier, I probably would have been standing alongside Sirius, egging him on."

"No," Dumbledore said quietly and stopped walking to face James in the moonlit corridor. "The difference between you and Sirius, is that you know what it right and what is wrong, and you know what is _important_."

Hearing a shuffling noise to his left, James glanced up but saw no one.

"I must ask you one favour, James," Dumbledore said gravely, seemingly as unaware as James that the noise made at the end of the corridor had been a student, unwilling to intrude on this private conversation.

"Of course. Anything," James said casually, though his eyes revealed his curiosity.

"I know this summer you put all your efforts into tracking down Lord Voldemort, but I must ask you to end this search, at least while you are at Hogwarts." Before James could cut in, Dumbledore said, "I know he killed your parents and I _know_ you need revenge, but there's plenty of time to find him. There is an order, The Order of the Phoenix, specially dedicated to the cause of fighting Voldemort and his followers -"

"I want to join," James interrupted before Dumbledore could finish his sentence.

"When you finish school, the Order would greatly appreciate your support, but for now, you have enough to be dealing with." When James frowned sulkily at his feet, Dumbledore rested a hand lightly on his shoulder. "He will not get away with this – any of this. Judgement day will arrive, and when it does…" Dumbledore trailed off, but James didn't need to hear the rest of his sentence to understand. There would be time for revenge, time to convict Lord Voldemort, but it had not yet come…not for James at least.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I believe there is someone at the end of this corridor who wishes to speak with you," he said, his eyes glinting with their familiar twinkle. "Good night."

"Good night," James murmured before curiously turning to the dark shadow at the end of the hallway. In the darkness, Lily rolled her eyes and took a few steps forward.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she said simply.

"No, it's fine."

They stood in awkward silence for a few moments before Lily rolled her eyes again and sighed.

"They'll get stuck one day," James said, a small smile playing on the corner of his lips.

"What will?"

"Your eyes."

"Oh…ok." The awkward silence stretched out for another very long ten seconds before James finally spoke.

"I'm sorry I didn't write. I suppose I could tell you that it was because I was busy trying to find Lord Voldemort…which I probably should have told you about," he added, uncomfortably scratching his head. "But the truth is, I didn't write because I was really upset." He took a deep breath and continued, "I'm in love with you, Lily. I have been for years, and this isn't just going to go away and I don't want it to. But I need to know we have some kind of future. Am I wasting my time, or -?"

Lily shook her head quickly but found she couldn't speak.

James rubbed his face in his hand and began to speak again. "And the girl in Sydney –."

"No," Lily said, finally finding her voice. "You don't need to explain."

"Yes, I do. It was a mistake, something I didn't want to do. I've never felt worse or more guilty about anything in my life."

"It doesn't matter, James. Honestly, it doesn't. You don't have to explain to me, I don't deserve that."

James looked down at his feet and shrugged. Then he said, "Did you know shrimps have their hearts in their head?"

"What?" Lily asked, thrown off by the sudden change in topic.

"Yes, they do," James insisted, smiling faintly again.

"I don't understand," Lily said, looking confusedly at him.

"Well, they never have to choose between following their head or following their heart."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. Read the little shrimp thing on a penguin wrapper. Next update should be soon: i hurt my back during a dance competition the other day so i seem to be doing a lot of sitting around. :D. hope you enjoyed, and again, please review!!!! thanks so much. xxx - annie 


	19. Chapter 19

**AN:** I suppose I could list the millions of reasons on why it took me so long to update, but it would be boring and would involve a lot of lying, haha, so here it is, the final chapter. It pretty much ties up the loose ends and yea, hope you like it. Thanks to everyone who read my story :). Enjoy:

* * *

"_Shh, be quiet Lily. You'll wake him up."_

"_Don't be such a wimp, Petunia. We could set a fire cracker off in his ear, and he still wouldn't wake up."_

_The small girl with straight blonde hair opened her light blue eyes even wider than before and gazed at her sister. "He's not dead, is he?"_

"_Of course not," said her twin, tucking a lock of red hair behind her ear and gently resting a small hand on Petunia's arm in a childlike gesture of comfort. "He's just asleep."_

"_I'm not sure this is going to work…"_

"_Of course it will," Lily said, her bright green eyes flashing with determination. With a quick glance around the empty living room, she tiptoed over to the coffee table and gathered the empty bottles and scattered pills in her small hands, placing them quietly into an empty carrier bag._

"_Lily," Petunia said, her voice worried. Raising her head, Lily saw her twin standing over the form of their father, out cold on the sofa in front of the television. "Lily, I don't think he's breathing."_

"_What do you mean?" she asked, a wave of cold panic flooding through her. _

"_I mean he's not breathing!"_

Lily sat up suddenly, her breath coming in deep gasps. Her uniform stuck to her, damp with her own sweat and her fingers shook as she wiped a lock of dark red hair from her eyes. She was still sitting in the common room, stretched out on the couch by the fire.

"Are you alright?" asked a small first year, who had been watching her with curious eyes.

Distracted by the child's inquiry, James looked up from his work, and followed the small boy's gaze until his eyes rested on an extremely dishevelled Lily Evans.

Getting up and leaving the homework he hadn't planned on doing anyway, he crossed over to Lily and kneeled down beside the couch she was stretched out on. "You ok?" he asked quietly, brushing her hair back from her sweaty forehead. "You feel warm, are you sick?"

"No," she mumbled, pushing herself into an upright position. "Just had a bad dream that's all. How long have I been asleep?"

James checked his watch. "About five hours."

"Five hours!" Lily exclaimed in horror. "But I have so much work to do!" She attempted to stand and immediately swayed on her feet, her knees buckling underneath her. Luckily, James caught her just in time and picked her up, heading towards the girls' dormitory.

"No more work," he said. "You've exhausted yourself these last few weeks. You need rest."

"You can't go up the girls' staircase," Lily muttered, already nuzzling into James' chest, her eyes feeling heavy.

"Ah, there you're wrong my Lily-flower. Someone didn't read _Hogwarts: A History_ very thoroughly, did they? You see, if a boy happens to be in contact with a girl and that girl wishes the boy to come upstairs, then said boy may ascend the stairs with no harm to himself." He got no reply however; Lily was fast asleep in his arms.

---

"Go away."

"Oh come on, don't be so upset." Sirius leaned lazily against a book shelf in the lamp-lit library and watched Sarah browse the dusty books. "It's sort of romantic if you think about it," he justified, a smirk playing on his handsome face.

"Romantic?" Sarah said, spinning around. "How deluded are you? It's about as far from romantic as you can get. It was perverted."

He shrugged. "Same thing."

"Leave me alone."

He frowned and took a step closer. "I'm sorry, alright? Listen, the truth is I only did it so I could spend some more time with you." She didn't reply so he continued. "I'm sick of being your _fuck_-buddy, Sarah, I want something more."

"Well I don't!" Sarah said, pulling a book angrily off of the shelf and stalking away from him. He hurried after her.

"Yes, you do. You pretend to be this cold bitch, but I know you're not."

Sarah opened her mouth as if to retort nastily, but she couldn't find the words. Instead she just shook her head in disgust at him and continued walking.

"I want to go out with you!"

She spun around to face him, almost hitting him in the face with her book. "Listen to me," she said coldly. "I'm not like Lily - I don't pretend to hate guys so they'll like me more – I don't _need_ to do that. I _actually_ hate you, Black, so fuck off and leave me alone."

---

Peter stood under the large tree, his hands thrust deep in his pockets and his shoulders hunched against the cold wind. Looking around nervously, he thought longingly of the warm common room and wondered for the umpteenth time _why_ he was doing this.

Yes, his friends had the habit of treating him like dirt, but _he_, Peter, had always known the difference between right and wrong. He'd broken rules before, silly school rules at the will of the Marauders. He'd done it to _be_ a Marauder, but he needed something more. Being popular wasn't enough.

He wanted power.

Sick of being the groupie he'd turned to others, in search of respect, not knowing that he'd find no respect there…only the addicting adrenaline of knowing he was standing up against his friends in a way no one had ever believed he would.

---

"And what happened then?"

"She told me she hated me," Sirius said, shrugging and flicking a wad of paper at a second year who was studying all alone by the fire.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Does she actually hate you or was she just saying that?"

Sirius grinned. "No I think she actually hates me: that's what makes the sex so great."

"You didn't…" Remus said, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"Yep, she couldn't keep her hands off me. Did it right there in the library."

"That's disgusting! Don't you have any control?"

Sirius grinned. "Nope."

Remus shook his head and smiled in spite of himself. There was no changing him: Sirius would be Sirius, and as much as he was reckless, moody, disgusting and unbalanced, he was also loyal, caring, fun and one of the best friends Remus could ask for.

---

"I'm not saying I agree with what he's doing, Ellie, it's just, well I'm not all that bothered about Muggles, and he doesn't affect me in any way, so why bother fighting him?"

"He killed James' parents, Sarah!" Eleanor cried in amazement at her friend's attitude.

"Again, doesn't really affect me."

"I can't believe this. You're saying you wouldn't fight him? The most evil wizard of all time, currently running free, gathering supporters and brutally murdering hundreds of Muggles….You do realise Lily is Muggle-born don't you? What if he targeted her?"

"Then I'd kill him," Sarah said, turning the page of her fashion magazine. "But so far he hasn't touched her. All he's done is get rid of a few Muggles and attempt to bring back some nobility and pride to the magical community."

Eleanor shook her head. "And I thought _I_ was naïve. You actually don't care do you?"

"Of course I _care_…I suppose. It just doesn't bother me that much. Not enough to go out and risk my neck fighting him. He's not going to touch me, I'm about as pure blood as they come."

"You're dad's Muggle-born," Eleanor pointed out quietly.

Sarah's eyes flashed as she looked up from her magazine. "He's _not_ my father. I'm a pure Zabini, nothing else. No one will ever connect with the that loser Mark Taylor. I've changed my name and everything. I'm safe so just leave me alone, will you?"

---

Peter quivered in anticipation as the dark figure approached him under the old tree.

"Hurry up, Rat, I don't have a lot of time. You said you had information for me," the menacing voice of Severus Snape snarled from under a heavy hood.

It wasn't too late to change his mind, to make the right choice. He could still do it. But the thought of glory and appreciation made his chest swell with excitement: he'd never been appreciated before.

"Well, do you have the name of the tip-off or not? The Dark Lord wants to know who Potter's source was. He got information on his whereabouts no one but a Deatheater could have known."

Peter licked his lips greedily and took his first of what was to be many more steps down the path of evil, the path that would lead to his allegiance with Lord Voldemort and the deaths of his friends. But how could he call them friends, when they'd treated him with nothing more than sneering condescension?

---

James gently lay Lily down on her bed, carefully tucking the blankets around her. He sat beside her and gently pushed the hair back from her forehead before kissing her cheek. About to rise and leave her, he was stopped by her hand softly taking his.

"Thought you were asleep," he whispered, now kneeling down beside her bed so his face was level with hers. She smiled and opened her eyes. He cleared his throat nervously. "Lily…what is it you like about me? I mean, what qualities do I have that you like?

"What?" she asked quietly, confused by his question.

"Why do you like me? Because, if I knew what it was, I could emphasize those things, make you like me even more. Maybe," he coughed again and mussed his hair. "Maybe even…love me?"

Lily chuckled and reached a hand out to touch his face. "That's the sweetest and silliest thing I've ever heard." She moved over so her face was inches from his and gently kissed his nose. "I love it how you always put two different flavours of jam on your bread, you always subconsciously hum Greensleaves whenever Professor Sprout talks about a plant's "green leaves", the way you frown whenever you can't work out a difficult astronomy problem and then you roll your eyes when you realise how simple it was; how you tell me not to roll _my_ eyes 'cause they'll get stuck and you don't want a cross-eyed girlfriend; how you manage to make me laugh whenever I feel like crying, how the mouth of your corner turns up after I kiss you and you breathe really deeply, then you kiss me again as though you couldn't bear to stop; how you look at me as though it's the first time and how you make me feel so beautiful even when I look like hell, and especially how you're the most generous, loving, beautiful person I've ever met, but you pretend you're nothing special." She paused for breath, and he took this opportunity to reach out, take her chin in his fingers and kiss her sweetly, so his warm breath mingled with hers, and his mind got lost in a tangle of thoughts too jumbled for him to understand, until she broke the kiss and he smiled, just the way she'd described. "And what I especially love," she whispered, gently stroking his face, "is that dimple, right under the corner of your mouth."

"So," he said. "Um, you do then?"

"What? Love you?" She grinned as he nodded. "Yeah I suppose so."

His small smile turned into a beam as she finally said the words he'd been longing to hear since he was twelve years old:

"With all my heart and more, I love you."

* * *

**AN: **Hope you liked it. Please, please review, and I'm considering a sequel or at least another story about Lily and James so please tell me what you think. Thanks! xxx 


	20. AN: SEQUEL IS UP!

Hey guys, first of all, I'd like to say a **huge thankyou** to all my amazing reviewers. I would list you all but I'm incredibly lazy, but you all know who you are, especially those who stuck with it from the beginning. Thanks so much! You really inspired me. Ok, so I have posted **a sequel!!** But, im not sure about it yet. It's called More than one war in the wizarding world. At least, that's what i think i called it. hmmm...again with the lazy thing. Can't be bothered to check. :D. anyway i really hope you all read it and please tell me wat u think, because, yea, as i said, im not sure yet. Thanks again!!! xxx annie


End file.
